March 4, 2016 at 10:39 am #98001JackParticipant
I have been looking for a place to share some of my sketchy past. I am an addict in recovery. I don’t feel comfortable sharing in that environment. I have gotten really, really high and fooled around with members of the same sex. It’s in my past and not something I’m very proud of. It stings when I think about it. Putting myself at risk. Just doing stupid stuff when I was altered. I just wanted that off my chest.March 4, 2016 at 11:05 am #98002
You are welcome here! You are welcome to share about your past here. I am glad you are engaged in the recovery process! Recovery from drug addiction and the distress that brought about the addiction, the root causes.
Regarding fooling around with members of the same sex, there is no shame in that, as far as I am concerned. I don’t see it as a matter of shame or pride, whether you fooled around with members of the same sex or opposite sex. I do understand it feels shameful to you though. And I do know how painful it is to feel shame.
No shame here, not in correspondence with me, Jack!
Please post again, anytime!
anitaMarch 4, 2016 at 12:25 pm #98006ClaudeParticipant
Glad that you are in recovery. The title of your post struck a chord in me. I am 50 and I still have some secrets from over 30 years ago that cause me anguish due to major issues I had. Not everyday, they come and go, mainly when I am anxious.
What I have learnt, am learning and try to do as much as possible is to be compassionate with myself, either by positive self-talk or by listening to a guided loving kindness meditation when I get in a funk.
Because we are no longer our past, we have grown and will continue to grow until we pass away. I am also learning / realizing that everybody suffers, we all have things that we regret or are ashamed of. We all do the best we know at the time.
Knowing this makes my pain, shame more tolerable and I believe it is finally starting to dissipate.
Knowing this also makes me more loving and tolerant with others as I realize that we are all in the same boat.
We are brothers and sisters flying around on this piece of rock all dealing with something.
So I guess what I am trying to tell you is that you are good, you are my brother, you as all humans do have some divinity in you.
So don’t be hard on yourself, be good to yourself, be very good to yourself, you are trying to better yourself, you deserve it.
Not certain if I can post a link up here but I will try…The link below is a good source of self-compassion / mindfulness guided meditations and they are free. Try them out if you get in a funk 😉 Have a good weekend, be good to yourself!!
ClaudeMarch 14, 2016 at 7:21 pm #98998JackParticipant
Thank you both for the kind words..really. .this has helped me a lot…Peace and light …March 14, 2016 at 7:37 pm #99000
You are welcome, Jack, and please post anytime!
anitaMay 7, 2016 at 9:17 pm #103893jockParticipant
My name is Jock but it used to be Jack and I’m thinking of changing it to Jacque.May 8, 2016 at 6:52 am #103908
My goodness, you are back! If only for a moment, it is good to have you back. So very good.
Once in a while I have the line you said about me repeat in my brain, only a couple or few days ago: “You can’t beat her.” It keeps motivating me.
Good to have you here!
anitaMay 9, 2016 at 5:53 am #104013jockParticipant
I’m working now and……. I have become a serious Christian ! Catholic. That news might annoy you perhaps I don’t know. Hope you are doing well Anita. You are still doing a gigantic job here I see!
you cant beat her!
jock jackMay 9, 2016 at 7:08 am #104022
Dear jock jack:
No, it doesn’t annoy me that you have become a “serious Christian” and a Catholic. No, not at all. Jack aka Juanita aka jock is still somewhere on the face of this Earth, kind enough to drop in and motivate me again, hopefully experiencing well being, and that is all that matters to me!