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Silent treatment makes me insane

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  • #221799
    dahliarubi
    Participant

    I am needing some help and advice, im feeling lost, alone and broken

    I have a relationship of almost 2 years, which in my opinion was a soulmate. Te love between us was so unique and strong.
    It was real love and also a best friend. I can sense that he still loves me. We did everything together and were a team
    I thought I was a strong person until I discovered how weak love can make you
    There have been many issues between us and yet I have always been loyal. I have taken care of him in every way I could, wherever I can. I have supported him financially at a difficult time. Supported him and helped him with personal issues he has
    I supported him always on his emotional wellbeing and his feelings, issues. He treated me nicely,
    Yet his personal problems have taken on our relationship.
    He was also a little bit insecure of hiself because of some issues he has
    He doesn’t manage to communicate normally, he isn’t clear and I noticed that he couldn’t empathise with my feelings and needs
    I do NOT ask for much! Only support me mentally and emotionally, be there for me.. listen.. support my needs as I ALWAYS did for you… And we were growing a bit apart
    We had a discussion last friday
    We had said some things to each other out of anger
    But I had always been respectful to him
    Suddenly he stood up and grabbed his things and walked away, angry.
    I thought okay I let him cool off a lil bit
    I tried to call him the next day, no answer or response
    and then,  he continued to give me the silent treatment
    He has seen all my messages but refuses answer or communicate
    He sucks all the energy out of me I havent slept for days
    After that I sent him a lot of messages to make up
    I even went to his house  but he does not open the door for me
    When he didn’t open the door, it felt like a sting in my heart
    But what did I actually do wrong?
    On the third day he sent me a short message that he needed some time.
    I asked, thats oke how long? My birthday is also next week and we made plans
    His answer was on the fourth day only: ”i am gone for one month, i feel lost and broken”
    I was so hurted en begged him through message to pick his phone up to talk
    Yes he can take time, but not to speak to me for 1 month
    He also skips my birthday which is about to happen!
    He doesn’t ask for my feelings, he doesn’t ask if I am ok
    He doesn’t call me, or checks up on me how I am doing

    It is all about him
    The silent treatment made me insane
    To this day I have not heard anything and I know he is going to persevere.
    I also know that he is not going to congratulate me.
    And this is not the eesrte times he gives me the cold silent treatment
    Previous amand this also happened but perhaps for 3 days
    But why should I beg for clarity? Why should I beg for communication?
    He knows that I am going to break down. He knows how to make me crazy
    Because I told him last time what it do to me
    and of course he knows me very well
    And my birthday is also next week
    I am broken
    What is your advice?
    Do I have to deal with emotional abuse or perhaps narcissism?
    Our problem now is so easy to solve
    But he makes it enormously dramatic
    Communciation is the key but he refuses it
    The whole relationship actually runs on him…
    I have decided not to call or text him, it feels like he is punishing me
    What should I do? I need advice. Thanks and sorry for the long story
    !i need to pour my heart out. I am crying and not eating for days

    I can not believe the betrayal and heart pain he gives me
    The last message is sended him was I do not accept this behavior and I will not wait. Goodbye”

    • This topic was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by tinybuddha.
    • This topic was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by dahliarubi.
    #221819
    dahliarubi
    Participant

    Why this emotional abuse.. I can not stand it.

    #221873
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dahliarubi:

    I hope you feel better soon.

    You wrote: “We had said some things to each other out of anger But I had always been respectful to him… what did I actually do wrong?”

    To check if you did something wrong, I ask: what did you say to him out of anger?

    * He sent you “a short message that he needed  some time”, and a day after “I am gone for one month. I feel lost and broken”, this means to me that this is not a silent treatment because he didn’t just disappear. After a few days he did communicate  to you that he needs time away from you and then he took that time.

    anita

     

     

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