I’m 26 years old (27 in exactly two months) and I’m completely lost in life. I finished college in June 2013 in a program related to graphic design, but finding a job is hard, employers are asking for a lot of things that I don’t have, like university or years of experience. The question I keep asking myself is do I even want to be designer or not. I went in that program because that the only thing I could think of that wouldn’t bother me doing. Unfortunately, I’m a lazy and unmotivated person, always been. All I ever liked doing in life was playing video games, watching tv shows and movies, spending time on the internet and watching adult movies. I’m a very passive guy with no drive to do anything. I’m decent looking, so I do have a chance with the ladies based on my look. Though as soon as they get to know the real me, they leave.

Right now I have no idea what’s my next move, I looked at every program, that I like or not, and nothing seems to interest me. I’m in debt as well since I’m so unmotivated to work. I have never liked working, it always felt like slavery to me. I promised myself a year and a half ago that I’ll never worked in a call center or for retail ever again, sadly those are the only companies that contact me back for work. I pass the interview than I always back down on the first day of work. I hated working in warehouses, but they are better than call center or store. Sadly I have two hernia in the back and neck so I can’t do physical work.

I also have next to no social life. I have a few friends that I rarely see. I only go out for special occasions like wedding, bdays, mostly because I’m forced to. I’m not an out going person at all, I can spend weeks at home. I’m a quiet person, who doesn’t open up easily to people, because people abused of my kindness. Oddly enough I’m not that shy of a person. I live in canada and winter is brutal here, I say this because winter is the thing I hate the most, alongside working.

So my life is boring, I tried to live without computer, video games and porn, but I ended up on it like I never left. I brought a piano, it’s now collecting dust. I miss being a kid, while most people wanted to grow up, I never did…

thank you to anyone who read this, I have been miserable for the past 8 years and I felt like ranting