Situations I can't control – going crazy

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    Urban Sun

    Hey there,

    I felt the need to express my current emotional state because I am going through a fairly difficult time in my life. I just woke up from a really disturbing and terrifying dream.

    So everything started last year when I spent some time in another country. I experienced so many beautiful things during my stay – job wise, spiritually, socially. And on top of that I met someone very special whom I fell in love with (my soulmate maybe).
    I had to leave after a while but decided that I want to move to that country. Although I was not born there, it feels like home. I don’t feel so strongly about any other place on earth.

    It could be very easy, but the thing is that the visa process I am going through just stresses me out so much. The paperwork took months to do. Now the petitionos filed, and I feel like this is the most terrible part, because I can’t do anything but wait and hope they’ll approve my petition. I’m going crazy about this. All I want is to move and be with my love, but I can’t “just go”; I’m dependent on the immigration officers’ decision. In this circumstance it’s very very hard to maintain trust, calmness and positivity, and I am experiencing a great deal of anxiety these days.

    Usually I’m doing pretty well in calming myself down and trusting in the universe to do its thing, but I feel like with visa processes it’s not really the universe that is responsible because it’s other people’s decision, and I can’t control other people. Deep down I know that everything is meant to be, but I’m close to freaking out right now. Insomnia, anxiety, and a racing mind are my daily companions.

    I miss my love so much, and I just want to be with him. We’ve waited long enough.

    I appreciate you reading my story, and hope that some of you may have some words of reassurance pr anything else they can share. I hooe I’ll be able to go back to sleep soon.



    Dear Urban Sun:

    I think that what fuels your increasing anxiety is that you want to move to your target country and be with your boyfriend too intensely, too desperately, too impatiently.

    Relax your wanting; relax into the possibility that your petition will be rejected.

    Sure you want to immigrate and you can’t make yourself not want that. I understand. But want it LESS.



    Relax and trust,everything is running on schedule – The Universe

    Peter Reece

    Hi Urban Sun

    I don’t know if the prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous is of any use at a time like this but I find it helps:

    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
    The courage to change the things I can
    And the wisdom to know the difference

    Best wishes


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