December 12, 2013 at 4:18 pm #46647StephanieSParticipant
My husband and I are 26 and 27 respectively, and as people we have changed A LOT over the last year (who hasn’t, really?). He used to be a musician and we were at bars/drinking really often, among other unhealthy lifestyle habit. To make a long story short, we have both stopped drinking excessively (him entirely recently, and I will only drink on a rare occasion–practicing my self-control and trying to deal with emotional stress/anxiety in healthier ways), and are becoming a lot more “mellow” of people. We are having a hard time relating to people our age, and even people quite a bit older.
Our current roommate is 35 and a total sweetheart, but she is a big drinker and we are often turning down her invitations to go out to the bars with her quite “rowdy” friends–it’s just not enjoyable for us to be around a crowd like that these days anymore. We usually thoroughly enjoy going for hikes, reading, that kind of thing–we have a history of being different from most of our friends because we tend to be very introspective/”deep thinkers” in general.
We are trying to adjust to a lot of positive changes we’ve made, while struggling with not feeling like we fit in with a lot of people around us. Not sure how to deal with these growing pains…I don’t want to give in to peer pressure just to be more social.
Any thoughts would be great!December 12, 2013 at 6:46 pm #46650LilyParticipant
I think it is totally ok that you dont want to be a part of her crowd – it makes you unique! I am someone who doesnt drink a lot these days and am amongst friends who do. I choose to still go to bars and parties but I dont drink as much and they get it. I too am much older for the 29 that I am and I too a deep thinker, very self aware and enjoy philosophical stuff a lot more than normal blah blah. Like you, I have learnt big things over the past few years and I love the person I have become.
Just be proud of who you are! How rare it is to find people who stand up for what they believe in and are unapologetic for the direction they choose and the way they wish to live their lives. If certain friends dont get it, doesnt matter, let us appreciate the differences and love them for who they are. For the ones who want to be difficult about it, better to put them in the past and find new ones who get you and adore you for who you are 🙂
We all are in control of who we call our ‘tribe’. Stay true to yourself and choose wisely 🙂December 12, 2013 at 7:09 pm #46652Simonete. EwdParticipant
Sharing some enlightenment guidance…
Don’t ever feel It is selfish to desire what you and your husband genuinely
desire in life…
The fulfillment you and your husband seek will not take anything away from anyone else.
In fact, in the process of bringing about your life fulfillment you add
much value to the lives of those around you.
Just look at it this way those wonderful things you are positively passionate about enable you to discover
powerful, effective ways of creating new value in your life. When you follow your
dreams, you lead other people to theirs so ever don’t stop.
It is very important to always listen to the stirrings of your own authentic desires. and the nice thing is there’s no
limit on how high you can lift the whole world so… KEEP Focus!December 13, 2013 at 7:20 am #46678StephanieSParticipant
Thank you to both of you for the responses! I do have a tendency to be a “people pleaser” and I am working very hard at being less concerned about others’ opinions of me–easier said than done at times! We definitely feel that we are on the right track, it’s just hard when we don’t have the large group of “friends” we are used to.
What’s even more silly is to realize that those supposed “friends” we had before weren’t all that supportive of us either, so I guess it is better to start over, to a certain degree!