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  • #126422
    cali sister
    Participant

    Hello dear world,

    Today I went to the pharmacy for the first time and picked up an anti-depressant. This is a scary and emotional experience for me, especially because I know I should have started this years ago. Was just wondering if anyone has any positive stories they can share about this. I have depression and and anxiety disorders that have become so bad that I cannot function at work anymore.I do not feel sad or embarassed. I feel proud and happy to make the next move. But I also felt it would be nice to have a discussion about it.

    -much love

    #126449
    greenshade
    Participant

    Hey cali sister!
    Welcome to the journey. It is a big step and a HUGE act of self love : caring for yourself enough to get the help you need, investing time and money in your growth and healing so you are very right to feel proud and happy.
    I have been in therapy for 7 months now. It is difficult at times, but I have my reward in that I am grounded, more able to be in the moment, have a clearer view of reality. It is also possible for me to feel joy now, which is something I had not felt for the past 3 years. I still have days when I am in a lot of emotional pain but I am better able to deal with it: to accept it as a part of life, to hold space for myself, to allow myself to express pain in an environment where I feel safe (this is usually not around other people lol).
    If you would like please share your fears and any questions you have here at tiny buddha as and when they come up in therapy process, as well as communicating them to your therapist.
    Good luck!
    M

    #126455
    anita
    Participant

    Dear cali sister:

    Welcome back, and on your own first thread. When I first started my first SSRI anti-depressant (Zoloft) in January 1996, I was ecstatic. I felt better, much better. Many people do. These SSRI drugs worked for me like a pair of scissors, cutting off thoughts that used to escalate into anxiety and depression. I liked Zoloft so much that I had the dose go up to the unheard of 400 mg per day, first thing every morning. Years later, the psychiatrist lowered it to 300 mg.

    IF I had competent psychotherapy during the time I felt so much better, I could have used that much-better-feeling time to heal, to gain insight and skills so to live better. But I didn’t. And so, after 15 years of high dosage Zoloft, my life circumstances got worse, not better. Eventually I got competent psychotherapy, for the first time in my life, and got off Zoloft (and the other psychiatric medications/ drugs that I took to counter the agitation caused by Zoloft, and otherwise, to be calm).

    (During my first competent therapy experience, I cut all contact with my mother, which was necessary for my healing. Cutting contact with her was just the beginning of a mental separation from her- I am mentioning it because of the other thread…)

    anita

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