I just thought I’d share my story because for one, it’s perplexing, and two, it’s another story thathas me convinced that I don’t have the instincts to find an honest person.

There’s a really sweet, nice guy who I see at work/school (on campus). I’m friendly so I say hi to everyone and strike up conversations. He’s always been really friendly, flashes nice smile. For months I just thought he was the friendliest guy. He would ask how I was doing in classes and often times if I had plans for the weekend.

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked ‘who’s that guy that’s always smiling at you?’ I would just reply oh, he’s the nicest guy ever. But after hearing her say that I started to wonder if he was flirting with me, which got me very interested. Well, the next day I saw him having a serious discussion with a girl who could only be his girlfriend. I got pretty sad, but figured he really was just a nice guy (since he still smiled and said hi to me while walking by me with her).

But surprisingly his flirtations continued, even though I would assume he knew I knew he had a girlfriend. I became quite smitten and even lost my cool demeanor when talking with him. I lost my focus on school and kind of hoped that I could go back to being a normal human. I’ve been meditating in just taking care of myself and being true to who I am.

Yesterday and today I noticed smiley guy wasn’t really flashing his smile and hello when I saw him. Then I noticed him with the girl (now it’s obvious she’s his girlfriend). And now I see that he might not be the nice smiley guy I thought he was. Perhaps he really was being flirtatious and is avoiding me in her presence.

So, despite being bummed that he does have a girlfriend (flirting was fun), I’m a little more bummed that he’s not the nice friendly guy I thought he was. I find it a little off-putting that a guy would flirt like that with a girlfriend. After trying to convince myself that there are honest, kind, caring men out there, the first one that I genuinely think has those characteristics turns out to be someone else.

For more context, I’ve had two serious relationships with guys who were still slightly attached to other women, which made me a very insecure person in those relationships. I wonder what kind of karma I have to keep attracting dishonest or misleading guys.

On the bright side, I can focus better on school now that I know flirting isn’t right. And I ca get over the smitten insecurity and shyness around him and back to being myself again.

I’d welcome insight on the guys behavior and suggestions on how to stay true to myself and not get carried away with these feelings.