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Stressed about forthcoming meeting :(

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  • January 12, 2016 at 4:04 am #92200
    Sunshine
    Participant

    Hello everyone! Thank you for visiting this topic. At the moment I’m facing some kind of stressful situation and I really need advice.

    Something about a year ago I met a guy in the Internet. We started exchanging messages and after a while we became real pen friends. We have similar values and attitudes, common tastes. He’s smart, always interested in my affairs and very attentive to me. He sais he loves my personality. Even though we’ve already exchanges millions of messages I can’t call him my ‘online boyfriend’. Just very good friends.

    The point is that he’s moving to my area in 6 month and I feel extremely nervous. In recent months due to some stress at my studies, I put on weight and I’m afraid he won’t like me. I’m now on a diet, I visit gym, etc. but the results are not that great. The fear that he won’t like me and will find me inatractive really slows down the whole process 🙁 I’m completely exhausted with this stress 🙁

    Did anyone have the same trouble? How did you overcome it?

    Thank you in advance.

    January 12, 2016 at 4:18 am #92202
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Sunshine,

    Do you know what HE looks like IRL? I mean what if he’s fat, bald and twice your age? There’s also such a thing as chemistry. No matter how attractive each person is, there’s either an instant “YES” or “ewg” factor that has nothing to do with it.

    He might be better as an online friend, frankly as the picture in your mind/s will be different from IRL in any case.

    Can you find out where he works and do a drive by sighting?

    And yes, I have met people IRL (book authors) and was almost always disappointed. Who are their gifted editors?? LOL! It’s always different, meeting outside of the original “form”.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

    January 12, 2016 at 4:27 am #92204
    Sunshine
    Participant

    Yes, I know how he looks like IRL) If I didn’t know enough about him, I wouldn’t have intention to meet him 😀

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Sunshine.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Sunshine.
    January 12, 2016 at 9:23 am #92220
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Sunshine:

    Why don’t you share your fear with him, honestly just like it is. Share your vulnerability. Write to him just what you shared here. This can bring you great results, calm you, and that calm that you need will be helpful in your efforts to lose weight.

    Instead of stressing and trying to get rid of the problem (excess weight) before you get to meet him in person, share your distress with him, and if he responds positively, your relationship will get stronger online before you meet.

    What do you think?

    anita

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