I’ve just concluded that we’re very likely not compatible for one another just so that it’s easier to conclude and there’s no finger pointing and attacking each other’s character / personality. I’m trying to find peace in that.

“Actually, referring to the title of your thread, it’d cause anyone to be stressed and anxious, maybe walking on eggshells, afraid of the next time you would say something imperfectly, something that would rub her the wrong way.” Yes you are absolutely correct.

Funnily enough she said the same thing about me that I made her feel like she had to walk on eggshells which made her anxious all the time. I genuinely have been trying to figure out what I did. And to be honest with you the biggest fight that we had was back in Jan and that’s the only thing i can recall that would trigger her to walk on eggshells? And for what it’s worth I took full accountability and apologized for those actions. The thing it was never easy for her to see past things and forgive and forget.

I don’t blame her though, I think she just never felt emotionally safe with me after our conflict and I think the relationship ran its course.

And to be clear I was never physically abusive or verbally abusive. And i’m quite positive in the last 4 months of being together, I was completely submissive and was always apologizing for things. Now that I say this out loud, that’s super embarrassing and I wish I didn’t do that. I think i should have walked away because she has every right to find flaws in me but if that’s the case then we’re not meant for each other.

“”
I am curious, what happened in that biggest fight..? Did you break things, destroy property.. were you very loud, yelling at her..???
“”

I was upset and refused to take responsibility for my actions because I felt like I was always in the wrong. But looking back objectively, I don’t think anyone was in the wrong and I just took it personally. I didn’t break anything, or destroy anything. I was just mad and upset. I don’t think I was yelling but my tone was aggressive. That’s my side of the story. And that was a long time ago which I had apologized for and never done again.

Hmm, I don’t have that experience growing up to be honest. I think the reason for my actions is motivated by the need to take more responsbility than needed, and always wanting to blame myself more than I have to so that I have the opportunity for growth. Because in some ways, if I’m wrong that can only mean that I have more to improve and get better at. So I think you can say that I haven’t been fair and kind to myself.

Yes it is 🙂 I’m starting to genuinely feel a lot better without the regression and the ups and downs anymore. I hope this is a good sign of me moving forward. I don’t wish my ex any ill or harm and would like to move on for good. I’m grateful for everything.