Home→Forums→Relationships→STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.
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April 28, 2019 at 9:54 am #291599ThonditParticipant
- Hello Everyone @ Tinybudhha
Hope this message will find everyone well.
It is hard to elaborate this kind of mess Married I have had been for two years. Fighting to fixed things well but being let down by my wife. I was in a relationship with my gf(wife) for 7 years when we were in East Africa that is Uganda ??. Before I proceed to Kenya where I was doing my piloting and I managed to complete my PPL(Private Pilot License ) ,,,,,
She call me to come for a courtesy visit in South Sudan (Juba) . Our relationship was awesome and everything was perfect ?. We met for some few days and I returned to Nairobi -?? Kenya . Reaching to Kenya soil, then she was conceived and she told me she is pregnant and however, I had to come back since she was my first choice. We makes a wonderful marriage ,,,, our parents called theirs and we paid a dowries of 150 Cows. We went for wedding after she has delivered baby boy.
To make the matter worse the girl change again she cheated on me and go to clubs and with hotels for those boys who aren’t my caliber.
As my field said I mean Aviation ,,, ,, when there is a cross wind when you are flying then apply the radar. I try to cover the mother of son but in vain. She go far by abusing that u are not the only man on earth. My wife is a wonderful woman I will never forget….. She is good at point but what spoil her is her mother. Her mother go to witchcraft and do dirty things that I don’t want to know even and explain.
The great part is that my father in-laws is on my side and he has declared that if you don’t need your husband whom you choose then never come to where I am until you die.
We are now separated she has gone back to their house where the mother is! !!! I am being hurt a lots. I took my boy Kenya Last week and she has said if you had taken your son then I will stay with my mom.
Little did I know that this woman was gonna change I would have not leave my studies (piloting Training ) and come for marriage.
If God was near ” I would have go for complaint. All my relatives and brothers hate me because of her. We went to Court twice but I refused to sign the divorce letter because what will I tell to my son when he grow up to be a man. I strongly still love my wife !! !! Is there another way or formula I can used to bring her back. Or should I shun her for good.
I am sorry for being wordy.
McCloud Antonov.
April 28, 2019 at 10:30 am #291619AnonymousGuestDear McCloud Antonov:
“We went to Court twice but I refused to sign the divorce letter because what will I tell to my son when he grow up to be a man”-
I would like to understand, therefore I ask:
1. Is your son living with you, being in your sole custody or is it a shared custody with your estranged wife?
2. Did she initiate the court proceedings, wanting to divorce you?
3. What do you mean in the quote above, what do you not want to tell your son when he grows up?
* I will be away from the computer for a while.
anita
April 28, 2019 at 11:07 am #291629ThonditParticipantWow my Dear Anita,
Thanks for the quick response or reply. U are a quick understanding person that I had ever met on this website .
You are so precious and generous Anita , I wish you a doctor ? ! Because you really know how to dig out the sickness or the route cause that is in a person or a patient . How nice and hospital you are Anita.
YS my boy is with me. I took him to Kenya last week during Easter.
He is 2years and half. Her mother Cry for 4 consecutive days that she needs his son back.
In our culture when you divorced a woman then be ready for your son because he will be a questioning you that why did you divorce my mom.
That what I don’t want Anita for my son to ask me. !!! Ever since I was young I had been praying not to be separated with my wife neither my son….. I used to say even up to now that I want to be a good father and a caring husband to my wife.
But to some circumstance my wife let me down. Yes ✔️ the court chase her out once and say I don’t want this case in my office since your dad is against your will! The judge told if you listen to your father then go to other judges that you thinks will support your ideas but I don’t think so.
Her mother is the one on her side.
However , we are still going again tomorrow to court for the final decision I have taken.
April 28, 2019 at 12:05 pm #291641AnonymousGuestDear McCloud Antonov:
Thank you for your kind words. I am not able to thoroughly read and reply to your recent post at this time but I will try to find time later today, before you go to court tomorrow.
I didn’t understand this: “the court chase her out once and say I don’t want this case in my office since your dad is against your will!”- the court chased who? Against whose will? What will?
“The judge told if you listen to your father…”- the judge told whom? Support what ideas?
As far as what you will tell your son when he asks you in the future why you divorced his mother, why not make a list today, a list of the reasons why you may divorce his mother?
I will be glad to read this list and reply.
(I think that you asked me if I am a doctor- I am not).
anita
April 28, 2019 at 12:20 pm #291643ThonditParticipantThe Court or called Judge chase my wife away in his office because the time we were both inside! The Judge asked my father in-laws that is this your daughter ?? ? My father in-laws said she is not my daughter since she is now cooperative with her mother and they are deciding to divorce this young man who paid the dowries to us. The will of my wife is to divorce me and this ideas is not belong to Jeremy but her mother is the one driving her to do dirty things. The photo you see on my profile is my boy. Of course I still love my wife Anita.
Thanks Anita.
April 28, 2019 at 1:05 pm #291649AnonymousGuestDear McCloud Antonov:
I thought the photo is indeed of your boy, a lovely little boy, I wish him a good life!
Do what is best for this little boy- what is best for your boy is to live in a home that feels safe to him. If a boy lives with two parents who fight, it is bad for him. If he lives with only one parent and there is peace in the home, it is good for him. Safety is what matters to him.
Let the judge know your estranged wife’s lifestyle, best you know. And let the judge know what kind of life you will provide for your boy. I hope your boy’s best interest is considered as the highest priority in regard to his custody.
It is too bad that all that dowry was wasted on a marriage that seems to have come to an end, but investing more into something bad… will not make it a good.
* I will be back in about 17 hours from now. I hope your day in court goes well for you and for your boy.
anita
April 28, 2019 at 6:10 pm #291659ThonditParticipantAnita, you are a special person to be in my life. At least you contributed a lots. You really gave me strength. You are like my instructor that I had met when I was in my flying school. I wonder what kind of a man will she need this so called Ayong, the mother of my son. The name itself is very bad my dear. Its mean to mistreated someone. What I hate most is time wasted from the time I paid the dowries until now and no good outcome. My fellow pilots students completed last year and I think she has made me to go back to square one again.
Behind all is these is my mother in-laws she is a woman who distort my house with a lots of witchcraft things.
My mother in-laws is also in a horrible hot soul now because my father in-law said if you had taken responsibility from me then don’t even both to called me and I will not dare to pay a single coin to you.
Since the husband rejected her that is why she is trying prove to us that she has power but she is lying to herself. Thanks Anita with all the nice words you vividly expressed for me.
I still love ❤️ her so much because of my son. Yesterday she called one of her uncle who is working in her dad’s office that she wanted to go back to where her son is. But her father said I’m fade up of this girl who spoiled my name for doing bad things for years.
My father in-laws is divorcing his wife today too! With all the children and the woman doesn’t know what we had planned together.
TI would like to get ways of bring together if u had an ideas.
My twin brother hated me because of bad behavior of my wife. She love to have sex outside : and moreover I don’t cheated her. I don’t drink and she do! !!! I still say she is the mother son but all in hell. Now I had acknowledged her bad behavior. Regardless of what she had been doing in the darkness everything is now being revealed.
Thanks Anita for the take you had taken to understand my post. May God bless you dear. I do say there are no holy angles on earth, people do dirty thing just to makes lives better.
My best wishes to you.
April 28, 2019 at 8:42 pm #291663ThonditParticipantWhere is nextstep? Brandy , Mark, John, they are nice people as well and they rest in our small group community called Tinybuddha.
April 29, 2019 at 5:10 am #291675ThonditParticipantHello Dear Anita,
As I received a call from my father in-law two hour ago to joint him at the Court where my mother in-laws and my wife was! !! Reaching on the way he call me over the phone and said go back, that don’t come he will handle the case alone with his wife and daughter. The Judge said I am not agreeing with you by divorcing her from her son. The girl (wife ) also said I want to go back to my son.
I will tell you more when you wake up later.
All the best.
McCloud Antonov
April 29, 2019 at 7:52 am #291689AnonymousGuestDear McCloud Antonov:
If I understand correctly, the judge did not grant your estranged wife a divorce.
Did he grant your father in law a divorce from his wife (the mother of your estranged wife)?
Do I understand correctly, you now imagine your life with your son’s mother- how is that going to happen, will you be talking to her first, talking about rules for the marriage, for example, that she is not going to cheat on you anymore, or practice the witchcraft that you disagree with?
anita
April 29, 2019 at 10:01 am #291721ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
From the first paragraph of your sentence, the Judge did not grant a divorce to my wife. They all end up arguing to each other, as accordance to the Judge told me. My father In-laws did not divorce his wife. He just warned his wife to have the boundaries between and perhaps my father in-law conclusion , told the Judge to tell my wife , not to come near, me anyone or call me over either. This is real bitter. Real ugly.
Anita , I still love my wife and I need her back regardless of her doom character and lifestyle . i really don’t know sometimes EMOTIONS AND TRUTH LOVE CAN BE CALLED Mr.Y is weak. But the fact is that is pure love. i love this woman like the way I love flying an AIRPLANE or Aircraft.
She was a woman of my heart- to- heart . God is fun sometime to give a person who don’t or feels your feelings.
Back to Anita, my father in-laws told me not to talk to her (wife) again! That I should SHUN her to whoever man she want with her mother. Though I find her on the way with another man then I should not bother to ask her. But in real sense I can’t dare to leave her like that!
I am confused really what to do! ! I am in a dark time I cannot even know myself. I had stop Flying because of this issues that is not ending up in a nice or better ways.
Its really been a years when I’m struggling with such life. All my colleagues are flying and driving cars as per now. I only build a house for my boy. Anita I’m 25 years and my wife is 24years old.
Hey Anita, kindly drop your whatsup number her if possible.
This is a hard time for me to deal with.
I am just a son of farmer whom my father is not educated. I tried my best to educate myself since from my primary , High school or college up to my flying school. Guys my mind has a lots of trauma for such a situation is not ending.
I wish I had not born to find such wrong elements humans.
People who makes suicide or stay out from marriage can not be blame. This disease is a danger sickness. Cancer is better you go via hospital and get medicine to be treated.
I tried to listen to music just to keep myself busy but in vain.
Is there any other MEDICINE for this my tiny budhha people, As well as Anita.
April 29, 2019 at 10:11 am #291725AnonymousGuestDear McCloud Antonov:
I hope your life gets better and that you act wisely, so to make your life better and better.
“I love this woman like the way I love flying an AIRPLANE or Aircraft”- it is not wise to get into a plane with an engine that is likely to break once you are in the air. If this woman has consistently behaved in a way that harmed you and your son, better leave that airplane alone, better not get it up in the air.. and then fall and crash.
Can you make a list for me, a clear list of 1, 2, 3… of your wife’s behavior that harmed you and your son, and in what year of the seven year-relationship, each behavior took place?
anita
April 29, 2019 at 10:29 am #291727ThonditParticipantI may not be perfect ? but I keep trying. No body is perfect all the time . My family shack Mr because of my bad wife . But I still insist on her. I do understand that there are a lots of GIRLS outside there who are beautiful then her but I can’t see this point. Too much film is going on in my memory. We dated for 7 good years. if my mother in-laws was not behind my wife then she was gonna be the best woman that I need on earth. If she accept to stay with me without wrong doing , then I was going to be the happiest man on earth . I got the most beautiful woman in my life and I think that could be the reason she had disturbed me.
When it come to SEX I am perfect , I do the way she need. Or her expectations other satisfaction . I promise her some years back before thing went to south, that u will be my best friend up to next generation . .. My best friend, my mommy , my sister , my everything !!!! God should give you someone who give you love in return. Love is a two ways Traffic , not one way traffic. The love had persists at my side. No more love at her side. Due to the fact that my mother in-laws is behind her daughter. I am working now and before we have grudges I used to gave them some dollars I mean my mother in-laws. When I was still with my wife. i took my son from them knowing that my wife will follow his son Agoth Thondit (son) .
Struck me God and Anita.
Help McCloud Antonov.
I got this Nick name when I was in my flying school , the time I took the first position and my Captain those name.
Regard
Gregory!
April 29, 2019 at 10:33 am #291735AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You feel very intensely about this woman. What happened between the time all was well between the two of you and the time that she went to court to divorce you?
anita
April 29, 2019 at 10:54 am #291745ThonditParticipant- my wife is a gold digger , she love money a lots.
- She is too narcissistic to her body, she does not think of mind or care for me.
- She doesn’t care about his son, she only think her mother will be responsible for his son.
- She love having friends who are boys out there .And when you are married as a woman then there is a different. You are no longer a girl.
- Whenever I give her money she goes give them to her mother ,, , forgetting to provide even a plate to her house.
- She is a clubs and hotels attendant . She goes to clubs at night when she go to their house without permission from me . She just go and sleep there, then from that night she go to clubs. During the day she goes to hotels that we are going to have fun with friends.
She smoke shasha and she do drink alcohol.
She lie to people that she met with that Iam not married.
Above all these she is a cheater !!!!
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