July 12, 2017 at 7:57 am #157614
Hope you're well! Its been a while since I've posted even though I've been around reading.
I've been dealing with somethings this past week, and thought would ask for advice here.
My work load in this past week has increased tremendously. By boss has signed me up for weekend meetings, and a twenty day travel plan without consulting me. This is in addition to other responsibilities that I still have to carry out. I have expressed my dissatisfaction to my boss about this, and he agreed, and said I wouldn't have to go on the twenty day travel, but then reversed his decision the next day (he changes decisions frequently based on mood). The twenty day travel is clashing with a course that will help in my future that I have paid a lot for and have been looking forward to for months. I have made him aware of this also. To add to this, I am not really needed on this travel, it seems like pushing me to go is more about establishing control. The weekend meetings also clash with a volunteer class I teach on saturdays ( I have a commitment there).
I was planning on resigning in the beginning of next month anyway because I can not deal with the turbulent environment he creates, it triggers my anxiety , and I do have an opportunity I am excited about. I am considering how best to deal with this situation, I am afraid it might have to come to refusing to go on the travel, then being fired/resigning early, but I would not like to burn my bridges this way. I would also not like to leave things in a bad way because in a lot of other ways my boss has supported me. It looks like this is going to need a lot of confrontations, and it is really activating my anxiety.
How would you guys deal with this situation?
mJuly 12, 2017 at 9:43 am #157634
I would not go on the twenty day travel because of that course you paid so much for and because you notified your boss about it ahead of time (the Saturday volunteer commitment is important but less important than the course because you are planning to resign anyway.
Because your plan to resign, and your concerns, I would make the confrontation about the travel as soft as possible. First, I would thank the boss for his/ her support in the past abundantly. Second, I would suggest (if practical) to do the travel on the days when your course is not taking place. Third, I would explain to him/her how important this course, how much you paid, in a way that may elicit her empathy.
anitaJuly 12, 2017 at 10:24 am #157648
Thanks for replying Anita! I'm a little panicky and overwhelmed by the thought of having this conversation with him because I have no idea how he will react, he may be accommodating or may get angry and become more fixed in his plans (he has reacted both ways in the past to similar situations) so I am scared I am going to panic and not be able to keep my head during the conversation. Lets see how it goes.
mJuly 12, 2017 at 10:35 am #157662
You are welcome. Maybe it will help if you type two scenarios (here or on Word, for yourself): one in which he reacts positively, and your response to it, and the other where he reacts negatively, followed by your response to it. (A third and fourth scenarios for any other unpredictable happening). Planning and practice can help to prevent the panic you mentioned.
anitaJuly 13, 2017 at 10:12 pm #158004
I was struggling to come up with the two scenarios because I couldn't make myself sit down and think about it calmly. The next morning my boss himself withdrew me from the trip. I was really glad because this confrontation felt really beyond me. I am going to need to prepare for the conversation regarding my resignation now. Maybe I can do something similar for that. More than the his immediate response also my concern is more that he will be okay with it at the time, then get angry at me later for unrelated things. I'm not sure how to prepare for something like that.
Thanks for your help!
mJuly 14, 2017 at 9:38 am #158092
You are welcome. I am glad this confrontation was avoided. Regarding the resignation and your fear of his delayed anger at an unrelated topic- you can try and prepare for it, won't hurt.