Hi shilly-shally,

That feeling is so normal, there is a phrase for it: The Seven Year Itch. We are biological creatures. In the old days people didn’t live that long, and you only felt that “glue” with your partner for a handful of them. Just enough for the baby to be weaned and to start sniffing out a new partner after yours, well, DIED. And believe me, they did die.

Problem is, we are living two or even three times longer than our ancestors.

You are doing the right thing (by not acting on these bio. feelings). Don’t beat yourself up for having them either.

But if you do ever end it with your DH, don’t get a new DH right away. It will be the same old story. As old as time.

Blessings,

Inky

There’s nothing wrong with you. I imagine those feelings are quite normal. In my opinion, the important thing is to realize you might feel that way with anyone, given time. As great as it is, marriage loses it’s novelty and excitement. Marriage is good at other things, like companionship and support. It may be tempting to think, if I could get a divorce, and live on my own, and date around, life would be more exciting. That might be true temporarily, but it doesn’t necessarily mean life would be better. You would exchange some boredom for some excitement, but you might be unwittingly signing up for a ton of heartbreak, and loneliness in the long-term. In my opinion, what’s great about marriage is that it can outlast those feelings, if you’re willing to stick it out.

Also, watch out for unnecessary guilt. The feeling that you shouldn’t have those thoughts are probably more damaging than the thoughts themselves.

But it may be helpful to intentionally seek out novelty and adventure in other areas of your life. Dating and relationships is such a tangible source of adventure for some, but it’s not necessarily healthy to find adventure here. Maybe a road trip could help, or a series of random acts of kindness for strangers – I’m not sure what you consider adventure. The point is, it’s possible these feelings could be less about your marriage, and more about a need for adventure or novelty.

* Dear desang: Can you copy your post above and paste it into a new thread? Click FORUMS above, choose a CATEGORY (“Relationships”?), Click Relationship, go down the page to the empty box for the title of your thread, and the body of your thread. I will answer it there (Good idea if you add details of your situation).
anita

In addition to the above: most guys you will come across are definitely not as they appear at first glance/first kiss. Just because they show an interest in you right now does not mean that they are going to be interested in you the next day, and the majority will not stay and treat you how you would like to be treated. The proverbial green grass on the other side is an illusion.