May 7, 2013 at 8:31 pm #35238AlexParticipant
So I just started my new job two months ago as a waitress in a bar. One of my managers and I hit it off almost instantly. He’s funny, smart, sexy, and really sweet. The catch? He’s 19 years older than I am. I know that older men dating younger women is looked down on, not just on him but myself as well. We have crazy chemistry and a lot of sexual tension between us. Now my question is; should I give in to the feelings I have for him to see where things might lead? Or should I not even bother since its taboo and doomed from the start?
Oh, on a side note, I’m still a virgin and I’m not sure if he just wants me for the sex, or if he genuinely likes me. HELP!May 8, 2013 at 3:48 am #35251LauraParticipant
This chemistry thing is very dangerous in the meaning that it puts rose-tinted glasses on and you’re unable to see things as they really are. Don’t rush into “hitting it off” in all sorts of meanings. Observe the guy, the way he behaves, if he pushes you for getting intimate or if he acts with respect towards you. Believe me, as a thirty year old I can wittness there are herds of creeps around, who have little care about your feelings – you’re just another beautiful to girl to them, so they’ll charm you, even future fake you (I think we could be a great couple, etc.etc., without actually ever delivering that to you) in order to get everything that they can from you. I’m not saying he is neccesarily that sort of guy, but you really have to watch is his actions and words match, especially having in mind he is much older than you, and therefore much more cunning in these matters. For me personally guys who chase very young girls are somewhat suspicious, cause its very very rare that people of that different age (I assume you are around 20? and he is around 40?) would have something common except the bed.May 8, 2013 at 4:21 am #35254BobParticipant
Several RED flags of caution have gone up when I read your reply, Alex… After two months of being employed as a bar waitress, a job that requires a good set of people skills and a bubbily personality if you are going to make good tips; the process is still new. In my opinion the development of a personal relationship with a new boss is too much pressure for a young lady such as yourself. BEFORE you even take another step, I recommend you set limits and be honest with yourself about doing so. Talk to your boss and be firm and DIRECT, leave no room for any doubt about your feelings and the limits you have created. Having surges of sexual tension rise up is not uncommon especially when you are a delicate flower. Cherish your purity and make wise choices and never ever allow others to do it for YOU, because they may not have your best interest at heart. Bad choices have a ripple effect that can crush you over a long period of time. “Or should I not even bother since its taboo and doomed from the start?”
It is extremely wise for you to admit that you have troubled feelings, these feelings are warning signs and if you choose to wiz on by them and close your eyes to them difficult hours will be your reality. Know also that you are not a pioneer, others have also been in your shoes and you can learn from them even when they did not choose wisely. Listen carefully to the words and actions of wise people.
I highly recommend that you move the direction of your energy in a better direction and truly enjoy the days of your youth. Enjoy being the Lady Alex because there is only one YOU. Spread your wings soar in the skies above, learn how to uncover the true joys of life, dicover the inner you and have fun doing so.
Be well and life TODAY to the fullness and always dream of good things that are about to happen…!