hi everyone. i’ve been feeling pretty down lately. in september, i was hit by a car while cycling to work, and since then i haven’t been able to bike daily like i used to due to pain. because of that, i’ve put on weight. i’m feeling down about that, down about what seems like a lack of motivation to do find a way out of this and back to being healthy. anyways, this is just the foundation. this weekend, my boyfriend of 8 months and i went for a two-night hike/camp. instead, it wound up only being one night. normally i love overnight hikes, but when there was a chance for escape, i wanted to take it. i didn’t feel good about quitting, but i felt scared about going on. what if my bike injuries flared up? what if it was too cold and wet? what if he saw my weakness? well, he saw it anyway, and he was really good about it. but then it was time for easter dinner at his folks’ place. i’ve met them before, seen them maybe 4 or 5 times. i still feel shy around them. anyways, the first thing he said about our hike is that we quit early. that stung. later, friends of his parents from their hometown were visiting for coffee and dessert. the conversation was about the lack of assisted living type housing for seniors where they come from. it shifted to parents living in the homes of their children, and how the bonus is that when babies arrive, the grandparents would become live-in babysitters. this part of the conversation was directed at us. we both felt uncomfortable and tried to brush it off with humour. his mom apologised later and i told her i was used to it. there’s a lot of baby talk around the office where i work, and it’s been made pretty clear to me that most of my friends are looking forward to that point in their lives. but i’ve never felt that way. it used to be that i would recoil from the thought, but that’s softened and now i’m in a place where i can entertain the idea, but it’s certainly not something i’m planning for; i’m also still not finished working towards my chosen career. but if anything, i’d prefer to adopt. but my main thing is that i want to fall in love with my partner and our bond be the primary reason for being together, not the prospect of children. about a month ago i reacted with resistance when he was using the word “when” instead of “if” when talking about kids. i suggested we shelve that kind of talk. i guess he’s been afraid to bring it up again, and it’s somehow given him pause. but this experience with his parents brought it up and i told him that i didn’t want to have babies, then clarified i really wasn’t sure, but it’s not part of my plans. we decided to talk about it tomorrow. i’ve never had this kind of conversation before, but he’s 30 and i’m 28, and so it seems more inevitable than it ever has. but is it too soon? how does one have this kind of conversation? i’m just looking for some of your experiences to bring me a bit of perspective. and that’s greatly appreciated.