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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Matt 6 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #38538

    E
    Participant

    I recently began putting my thought and feelings about my relationship with my ex on this website and so far I couldn’t be more thankful for the responses that I have received. Like someone mentioned the other day “a lot of people can tell u what is right and what you need to do to better your situation, but in essence you are really the one that needs to make the decision as to what you are going to do.” It’s so true that sometimes we get so much advice from friends, family, and even individuals we don’t really know that it is hard to see that we are truly the only ones that can decide for ourselves what is the best thing to do. I have also been journaling a lot to help me cope with what I’m feeling. It seems that I have had a lot to say over the last couple of days. I have always felt I was much more expressive on paper vs verbally…even though I always say what I need to when I have to voice my opinion at my workplace, or with friends. What I have learned is that writing things down helps to voice out things that I was too afraid to voice out with the man I fell in love with.
    What I’m battling now is whether or not to express my thoughts and feeling in a letter to this individual. Would telling him how I feel after our breakup help have closure? Would putting it all out there make a difference in my accepting what has happened and moving on? I mean this is a letter that will be given to someone who hasn’t contacted me in over two weeks of our breakup. Someone who hasn’t even bothered to express his own feelings about anything to me. A friend of mine told me to write the letter but keep it for myself and read it every time I feel I’m getting sad or want to try to contact him again.

    #38541

    Sushma
    Participant

    Hello,

    It is very true that writing things down helps to voice out things which we are not able to tell verbally. We feel relieved by putting all our words into the paper. Please go ahead and put all your thoughts and feelings which you are going through in the letter and give it to him. I can say, it will definately help you a lot to accept what has happened because once you write about all your feelings and emotions in to the letter, bet me you will be completely relieved. Acceptance is the power which will give you new energy, hope and faith. Move on baby.

    “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
    Sushma

    #38542

    Matt
    Participant

    E,

    In addition to Sushma’s words, I don’t think giving the letter to him will give the closure you’re seeking. Often it only generates more, as you expect him to respond in such and such a way, and when he does not, it sets up another cycle. Every situation is different of course, but be prepared. 🙂 He may not respond in a way you wish, nor hear, understand or care. That’s why its usually best to let go, and let the breakup or writing the letter be the closure.

    With warmth,
    Matt

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