Hi Lars,

I’m not a woman, but I’ll try to give you as many insights as possible.

My guess is that she has been thinking over and over about why she felt ill with you at some point, why things degenerated and why you broke in the end. She found out some ‘reasons’ and she blamed you for them. However, she still had one hope, that after such a long time apart you actually acknowledged those reason and showed how sorry you were. She was smiling because she was happy she could finally speak her point to you, maybe she also started feeling relieved, because she had her confirmation: it was a good idea to leave, because you did not realize what you did wrong. She had her final proof. Maybe, she also come to assure herself that she did not have any more feelings for you. In a sense, she wanted to look at you in that very moment, push on your image all the disapprobation she could have thought about, so that the bitter feelings would erase the good memories and make it easier for her to forget you. She was pleased to look at you and feel nothing.

Now, I’m not saying you actually did something bad. You did something bad to her eyes. However, I believe a spider would also say that a fly did something bad when it escaped from the web. You did not tell us what she accused you of. Nevertheless, if you lost your job and experienced difficult moments, chances are you’ve been very stressed during that time. Maybe you were worried and scared and asked her to lend an emotional hand. She found herself unable to help you, as she started feel that emotional pain as well. A pain she may accuse you to be responsible of (just because you pushed that on her and you did not allow her to be happy as before). Asking for her support in a moment of need was not wrong, but it seems she perceived it as a wrong thing: like you caught her in a trap of unhappiness after giving her the hope of an eternal bliss. In other terms, she wants a man that handles alone his emotional pain, and share with her only the good things. She just realized you are not that man. Anyway, that also maker her a bad choice for you. After she was not there when you needed her.

If what I said up above looks wrong to you, please let us know what actually she accused you of.

Hi Lars,

You are welcome. I’m just sorry I cannot relieve your pain any better.
I suppose that if you did not agree that things were actually wrong, your excuses did not look sincere. That may be exactly why she wanted to see you face to face: to look at that subtle clues in your eyes, that can allow her to determine whether you really thought you were wrong or not.

Hi Balancedojo,

Maybe you can share with us a bit more details: what did she actually say? What things did change from good to bad according to her perspective? What was your behavior she qualified as manipulative?

Maybe you can also try to talk with friends who are close to her. You may get some more insights on the matter. But understand they may be loyal to her, so when you inquire try to be respectful and understand it may not be easy for them to tell you everything.