the questions everyone asks….

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    guys please help me to understand the questions that most people ask themselves but are afraid to ask out loud….why is it that when we finally decides to let someone go, even asks them to move out, we still pursue talking to and even repeatedly calling/texting the person they ran out of our lives? Why do we begin to doubt our decisions? why do we begin to question if it was all our fault? and why when we do do these things does the other party ignore us even more? andwe feel the need to constantly get a reply even hence for them to answer our calls?


    Depends on the situation. And it may be a combination of these things:

    (1) fear of the unknown. A lot of people stick with a partner out of comfort, knowing that things aren’t great. But there is a strange comfort in expected and predictable unhappiness, as opposed to fear of possible happiness and possible unhappiness.

    (2) fear of regret. You want to make sure you did EVERYTHING you could to make it work so that you don’t wonder somewhere down the line if you made a mistake. Unfortunately, it’s not possible to try everything. You try (at whatever level you think the situation merits) and it works or it doesn’t.

    (3) fear of rejection. You want a reply to prove to yourself that you are desired and worth the trouble. It’s ultimately a lack of self-confidence and lack of belief in your inherent worth (which we ALL struggle with).

    And I think that a major part of it is: (4) You still pursue the person and call/text constantly because you haven’t let go of “what might have been.” You might accept that things aren’t working and that it needs to end. You might logically understand that and in your heart believe it. But you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve the loss of the future you envisioned. Once you let go of that imaginary future, you can let the person go in peace. And you can be at peace in your decision.

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