Hi all,

I say this every time I reach out for advice on Tiny Buddha, that this is my go to place for all the times that I felt stuck in life and didn’t know what to do and I have always found great advice and much courage and inspiration.

So, this problem is unlike any that I have had to face so far in life. There is a guy that I really like. He used to be a batch mate in grad school and I started liking him in my final year when he was already in a relationship with another girl. On our farewell party, I got a bit drunk and confessed that I used to have a crush on him. However, his girlfriend found out about it and it got a bit uncomfortable during the last few days. After that we both moved back to our respective homes and had jobs. Let’s call this guy S. However, a few days later, we got to know that he had broken up with his grad school girlfriend and some time after that I randomly got a message on Facebook from him. I had decided to close that chapter and move on, but that unexpected msg got me excited again, especially because I knew he was single. Some time later I had a fall out at work and quit my job and he helped me apply to other places. We also met once for dinner during that time. As fate would have it, I got an interview call from the company he was working in and eventually landed a job there. We did hang out at times, take walks after lunch, go for a drink or two on some Fridays, but we never really got close. There was another girl in office who he was great friends with and I thought that maybe they were going out. I never asked, though and eventually all three of us started hanging out and I figured that they were just good friends. However, the situation was always a bit hot and cold, and I never really figured whether any of my feelings were being reciprocated. Sometimes it seemed like they were and at other times it felt as if I didn’t matter to him at all. But I never really stopped liking him.

The turning point comes now, when a couple of months ago, he told me that he was leaving the job and moving abroad for higher studies. I felt like my world crumbled. I was very happy for him but incredibly sad for myself. Since then, our dynamics have gone from, say 30-40 to a straight 90-95 on a scale of 100. We hang out a lot more, go for drinks post work almost every other day. He has eased up to me, confides in me about things he normally wouldn’t talk about earlier. I don’t know how or why this has happened. Now this last week, three of us i.e. S, me and another friend (let’s call him V), went out post work and V being a good friend, somehow figured about some attraction stuff going on and we eventually had a discussion about it. I could tell that he had figured it much earlier. When I asked V, he said that he couldn’t pin it, but generally with body language etc. he felt that there was a vibe. V says that I should tell S about my feelings, even though he is moving abroad for the long haul. He says that you never know what might happen. I also did contemplate telling him, whatever might be the outcome. But, at the same time, I am trying to protect myself from a potential heartbreak. I told him that I needed to talk to him, but now I’m totally getting cold feet. He might just say that he doesn’t see me that way. I’m so confused. Any advice?