To stay or go?

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This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by Joe.

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November 4, 2015 at 12:53 pm #86740

Adele
Participant

First post here, hi all 🙂

I’ve recently returned to the UK from living in Japan for two years.

Since returning, I’ve been quite down. I miss Japan and my life there, the friends I made, and the culture – so its a no brainer, that I want to go back. My dilemma is that, since returning, I’ve managed to land myself an excellent job, which utilizes my university degree.

I don’t know whether to stay in the U.K and progress my career or go back to Japan. My work makes me happy here, but missing Japan comes in waves, to the point where I want to cry and book the next plane ticket out. I feel like I have been given a fantastic opportunity and I’m so grateful, but my heart is telling me I’m happier elsewhere.

What would you do? Would you go where your heart tells you to? Considering I’m 26, I don’t want to jeopardise a career that could set me up for life.

Thanks for reading. xo

November 4, 2015 at 1:08 pm #86744

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Adele:

I would definitely stay for now in the UK. I would not go back to Japan. Is this answer good enough for you? Did you make a pro and con list for staying vs leaving (not when crying though because you need to be calm for the pro and con work)?

anita

November 5, 2015 at 8:53 am #86794

Saiisha
Participant

Hi Adele,
You mentioned missing friends, culture and life in Japan – did you have a job as well? Can you get a job in Japan? Is there a reason you can’t get a job there? Just trying to understand your dilemma

November 5, 2015 at 11:37 am #86802

Adele
Participant

Hi Anita, thanks for your response. It’s refreshing to hear someone saying to stay. Most people just go with the ‘follow your heart’ route. I haven’t made a list yet, it’s something I’ll do tonight. Thank you for the advice.

Saiisha, thank you for your reply. I had a job in Japan as an English teacher, to which I could return if I wanted. The pay is good, and I liked it, but it was nothing spectacular – just the country made up for it.

~Adele

November 5, 2015 at 11:56 am #86805

HealingWords
Participant

Adele
That is a hard choice and I agree with Anita that you should make a list of pros and cons

If it were me, I would go where I feel helps me move forward in my goals, help me grow as a person, and what personally makes me happy.

So you need to prioritize what is most important to you in your life and decide what place is best suited for you based on that. Remember that you don’t have to be stuck in that one place after you decide.

I was in a similar situation, of if I should stay or go, I decided I was not in any rush to leave and that it is okay to stay for another year, then Reevaluate my situation. I don’t regret it,even though now I plan on going still.

Laure

November 5, 2015 at 2:47 pm #86818

Saiisha
Participant

And I agree with Laure, I’ve taken the well-paying job route before, and wasn’t happy. But I didn’t quit it either, until I made a path for myself that I love.

If the job in Japan wasn’t paying you well, and if your priority right now is to take care of yourself financially first, it sounds like a good plan. For me, in that type of a situation, if I would eventually want to get back to Japan, I’d make myself a goal – of say, I’ll work at the UK job for 5 years, save enough money, and then look for another job in Japan at that time. Not that you’d have to make your goal happen no matter what… life intervenes, and your goals can change, but having a goal gives you something to work toward.

November 7, 2015 at 3:18 pm #86945
jock
Participant
Having lived in Japan for almost 15 years (not now), I can fully understand “reverse culture shock”.
I support Anita’s advice to stay in the UK. Head over heart. Gradually you will adjust to living in the UK but it takes time.
We tend to only remember the good times. I loved Japan but there aren’t good conditions for English teaching now. That’s why I left. I miss the culture though, especially the food and would love a holiday there but long term doesn’t suit most foreigners . Japanese don’t really cater for foreigners long term (eg. pension scheme) But I know the feeling you have. It’s like a love affair with a culture.
- This reply was modified 9 years ago by jock.
February 11, 2016 at 3:49 am #95775

Joe
Participant

Hi Adele

It sounds like you have had a wonderful experience in Japan – I would love to go in the future. But it sounds like you also have a great thing going for you here as well (I’m from UK too and I know how tough it is here to find work). I have to agree with everybody else posting here – I’d stay here for the time being – at least you will be able to save some money for if you do decide to return to Japan.

Just out of curiosity, did you get the teaching job in Japan through a TEFL company? If so, which TEFL company did you go to? When you were in Japan, were you living in your own accommodation or were you staying with a host family?

Thanks

Joe
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