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Torn Between Two Lives

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  • #367514
    Megan
    Participant

    I am writing this in hope to get some insight of what I am suppose to do… It all started when I met the love of my life. We will call him Lazer. He is the most humble, pure, beautiful, impactful, supporting soul. We fell in love almost at first sight. Then, got engaged and moved in together. I found out last week he met up with a girl to talk…and he had been texting her behind my back. She came clean to me. I felt hurt, I moved out, and left. But after pondering…is it my fault for being so controlling? We are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex right? He did not flirt with her, or emotional engagment. More of needing a friend when we were going through some trying times. Since then, I moved back in with my parents. I want to go back to him and be a family again, but my parents are against it. They forbid me. I am 21 years old, I know I can make my own decisions. I am afraid to hurt my family by following my heart…What do I do? Do I love him? Yes. Do I trust him? Yes…I wish my life was more lived the way I want to live it and not influenced by others…please help me. I am crying, depressed…and oh so lost

    #367518
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Megan:

    I will be able to read and reply to you in about 10 hours from now.

    anita

    #367531
    Peggy
    Participant

    Dear Megan,

    My first thoughts are that your fiance should have shared with you that he was meeting up with this girl.  Of course, you are allowed to have friends of both sexes but not if one of them is a ‘secret’.  His behaviour resulted in you leaving your joint home and moving back in with your parents.  Now you are wondering if you are somehow to blame and you desire to move back in with him.

    My advice would be to stay with your parents and begin dating your fiance again, if he still wants you.  Talk to your parents in an adult manner.  Explain that you are willing to give him another chance but aren’t ready to commit to him fully yet.  Ask them for their co-operation.  If they aren’t willing to give you any space, then your other option is to move out.

    When you are financially independent you can live your life exactly as you want to.  That’s a choice you make and it’s one you have to take full responsibility for.  Can you handle that?

    Best Wishes

    Peggy

     

    #367537
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Megan:

    You shared regarding the time you lived with your boyfriend: “is it my fault for being so controlling?… we were going through some trying times”-

    – can you elaborate on how you were so controlling, and about the nature of your trying times while you living with Lazer?

    (in your previous thread you shared that he was depressed and that he wanted you to keep a job that was making you miserable and not pursue a different job that you were considering).

    anita

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