Thank you so much to both of you for responding. I am very familiar with 12 step programs as I am in one myself- I have 3 years sober. I have done a lot of soul searching in that way and I am in therapy as well. I definitely have “daddy issues” and I tend to date men that I can “fix” or that I know are probably no good for me. I think to myself maybe I will be the one that shows them the beauty within them and they will grow. Obviously that is not the case. This one is particularly difficult as I have never been involved with a narcissist before, so it’s a whole new ballgame for me. Usually after a break up they leave me alone, but this one just likes to make sure I know he’s still around to mess with my head. He is friends with most of my friends and lives two streets away from me.  Even though we are not in contact directly, he still has his ways of sending messages and getting to me and it’s extremely difficult. My dad is my biggest source of trauma in childhood. He never allowed me to express myself emotionally and never paid attention to me- only to my brother. He decided he didn’t want to parent me anymore when I was about 13, but still stayed in contact with my brother. Now I get the obligatory “merry christmas” or “happy birthday” texts but that’s about it. My mom has always physically been there, but she is bipolar and inconsistent emotionally, and struggled with alcoholism and depression when I was growing up. So I guess you could say I never really had a stable attachment figure as a child and I’m just starting to realize that it’s both of my parents, not just my dad.