Trouble pooping at my boyfriends house

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This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching.

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May 30, 2016 at 6:48 am #105979
Maddie
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I got kicked out of the house by my mother after a bad fight. Now I live with my boyfriend and his parents. We actually don’t have privacy in general. It’s a small and noisy house and my boyfriends room is the attic and it doesn’t have a door. You hear everything. But the only thing I actually struggle with is going to the toilet. His parents are home very often and they are always downstairs where the only toilet in the house is. At night, his mom always hears me so i don’t feel comfortable going at night. This is becoming really anoying, especially because I have Irritablle Bowel Syndrome. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no privacy!
- This topic was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Maddie.
May 30, 2016 at 6:59 am #105982

Anonymous
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Dear maddie22:

This is a difficult situation for you, no doubt. If there is no other place for you to live, another house/ relatives, then one thing you can do that may be of some relief would be to take a noisy fan or a radio that makes static noise or so, to the bathroom with you (or leave it there if that is okay with the others). Every time you go to the bathroom, turn on the noisy fan or loud radion (static or so) to cover up the noises one makes going to the bathroom. This may provide some relief from the anxiety of being heard.

anita

May 30, 2016 at 7:52 am #105991

Maddie
Participant

hello anita,

It’s not just the sound that is concearning me, it’s also the idea of them knowing that im pooping at that moment.
That makes me feel uncomfortable and I just really can’t poop because of that, like, literaly. It doenst matter how bad
I want to, it just doesnt happen.

May 30, 2016 at 8:15 am #105994

Anonymous
Guest

Dear maddie22:

It is a problem, real problem. Again, if you could stay somewhere else, that would be best solution for now.

In the place where you are now, another not-so-great-partial-solution: poop in the attic. Have your boyfriend go downstairs when you need to poop, and poop into a container to be emptied when you can downstairs. It will need to be a container easily and tightly closed. You can use (in the U.S.) “wet wipes” or the likes: disposable wet napkins to throw in the container when done. Air the attic before your boyfriend comes back. At the least you will have the privacy to poop upstairs.

anita

May 30, 2016 at 4:44 pm #106013

Rock Banana
Participant

How about saying to them: “You know, I’m not very well, I have irritable bowel syndrome which means I often need to spend time in the toilet.”

I don’t know how you feel about saying something so direct, but honestly, if you say that, it explains WHY you are in there (perhaps quite a lot or for longer than usual) and if they are adults they will almost definitely be understanding and not think anything of it.

There is no shame in this whatsoever. Anybody can get these kinds of illnesses / conditions, and if somebody judges you personally for it, they are kidding themselves as they are forgetting in the future they could end up with something similar. It’s nothing personal, the irritable bowel syndrome you’re experiencing is just one of those things human beings can get, and there’s no need to be ashamed of the symptoms. If anybody judges you negatively for it, they’re probably not the kind of person you want to be hanging out with anyway right.

The sound can indeed be covered up by a fan or something, and also putting a lot of toilet tissue into the toilet before you go means you don’t get any sound of it splashing into the bowl.

And now for a bit more of a silly idea: Before you go, shout “I’m pooping everybody!”. Maybe when you’re in there, shout “I’m pooping!”. It will obviously be uncomfortable for you to do this at first but if you do it you will be conditioning yourself OUT of the idea that it matters what they think of you doing this. Pooping is a wonderfully human thing and all of us do it. Barack Obama does it, the Queen does it, everybody does it. Get comfortable and have a good poop!

September 10, 2016 at 7:00 pm #114873

Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching
Participant

Hi beautiful theres no shame in peeing or pooping your bfs parents do it too we all do u can take some comfort inthat, i know honey itll pass i promise for now be open to them about it take small baby steps, realize everyone and you poops but you matter and if u dont feel ckfortable otsnttoally ok you will get through this its not silly at all, try eating more grains fruit and fibre for healthier poops and squatting with your knees more up im sorry bout the bowel syndrome, you will ge t through this feeling and itll all be ok, remind yourself someone knowing i am pooping doesnt make me look like a freak or gross, we all poop and i am a good beautiful pereon, which YOU ARE so i hooe that can helpa lik, no matter what someone might judge but thisnis good because this is making you be more confident being you and doing what u need to do, i used to feel thid at peoples houses but jm like yo frick it i hsve to so imma go, and to minimze noise you can put a wad of paper to catch it or something so it doesnt make a plop sound or turn on something that makes noise, and progably other people feel the way u do but you all are doing great and will deal with this and be ok, your pooping is okay you are still amazing nothing wkllc change this, bless u have a great life Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡
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