Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Trouble with decision making
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November 16, 2016 at 9:23 pm #120536greenshadeParticipant
Hi guys!
I’m struggling with something and I would appreciate your advice. Recently I got the chance to go back to the career I had left, I just had to submit some documents for the job and it would be mine. I was away from home when I got this news, and I became so convinced going back was what I should do. Now today all of a sudden I can’t bring myself to submit the documents for this job. I’m so overwhelmed by the process of submitting documents it’s crazy. And I don’t know if it’s fear that’s holding me back or whether that work situation is bad for me. Whatever I decide is going to have significant impact on my life, so how do I make this decision when I’m not even sure what I want? And the problem is I miss out on things because I get so anxious while making decisions that the time to act passes. I really want to not sabotage my own life anymore, but how do I do that?
Help would be appreciated,
Love,
MNovember 16, 2016 at 11:09 pm #120541RebelParticipantHi Greenshade,
You sound overwhelmed. Please take a deep breath and relax. Let your inner voice guide you but not make you feel anxious. You really are better than what you think of yourself. Unless you try, you won’t know if that job is good or bad for you. Think about the better avenues this job could open up for you if you decide to take this job. Getting this job may help you understand what exactly you want to do in future. If I were you, I would take a piece of paper and pen down all the pros and cons of getting this job versus not getting this job, that way you could make an informed decision. I hope my advise offers you the support you are looking for. wish you all the very best.
November 17, 2016 at 8:15 am #120574AnonymousGuestDear greenshade:
Take this opportunity to act through your fear. It is fear stopping you from submitting the documents. Resolve to submit them- do it slowly. Throughout the process of submitting the documents, notice how the fear feels in your body: is your breathing shallow? Are your muscles tense? Are you feeling tired, foggy? Notice your thinking: what thoughts occur? Then talk yourself into the very next step you need to do to submit the documents, just that one little step ahead.
You can make a list of the steps you need to do so to accomplish the task of submitting the documents, then take on one step at a time, while being mindful (noticing bodily sensations and thoughts) and carry on. Post here anytime you’d like as you go through the steps.
Be patient and gentle with yourself. Let go of thoughts beyond the one task of submitting the documents.
anita
November 17, 2016 at 9:25 pm #120618greenshadeParticipantHey y’all. The deadline for the documents was yesterday and I missed it :'(. I managed to work thru 2 panic attacks but got caught by the 3rd one. The position will be a very stressful one, and maybe this is an indication that I am not ready for it yet. The fact is, I do also face daily anxiety that I have been denying for a while and I need to work on that anxiety more consciously now. Anita thank you for sharing these steps. May not help with the deadline, but will try incorporating them into how I deal with anxiety daily so next time I have a panic attack I am better prepared.
Love,
mNovember 18, 2016 at 10:30 am #120657AnonymousGuestDear greenshade:
Dealing with anxiety is a difficult task. I take the Macro approach and the Micro approach in dealing with my own. The Macro approach, in your case, would be not taking on a more stressful job. The Micro approach would be what I suggested in my last post to you (mindfulness) as well as daily aerobic exercise, moving meditation such as in slow yoga and tai chi, hot baths to calm down quickly…. the chest-opener posture is helpful to me.
anita
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