I really don’t know where to start. I see the curser just blinking on my screen as i think about the words I want to type. I have never met my father. My mother always had to play both roles. When I was about 8 years old I was able to find my grandmothers phone number, whom I had never talked to before. When I called her she had no idea who I was. Needless to say she was ecstatic to hear she has a granddaughter. However my father was nowhere to be seen. She told me he was doing time for assault with a deadly weapon and that he’d be out of prison in the next 10 years. It was around the time Hurricane Katrina had hit, and he was located in Lousiana. I was hopeful and with the address my grandmother gave me I sent him a letter that I poured my heart into. A couple of months went by with no response so I figured because of the devastating storm maybe the mail got mixed up, so I sent him another letter and also never received a reply. As the years went on I began to resent him even more because he wasn’t even willing to reach out to me. I had confronted my mom about the situation and asked her if she had any idea why he wouldn’t reply back to me… She proceeded to tell me she hadn’t read my letter before sending it but she did include a letter stating something along the lines of “please understand if you don’t plan on having a relationship with Meagan, please do not respond” when I heard this I was angry at first but I understood she was just protecting me. I was able to dig up little information on him, I know I have 3 siblings and he is now out of prison. I wonder if he’s involved in my siblings lives… It makes me even more resentful. A part of me thinks it’s not fair. He shouldn’t be able to erase me out of his life as if I never happened. Do some people just not want to be found? I am now 22 and still very curious of who my dad is. I still don’t know what I want weather it’s a relationship I want or just answers. Is he worth looking for?