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Trying to live a spiritual life, but feel worthless as a man.

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  • #80596
    Josh
    Participant

    I’ve been trying to live a simpler life, but I keep finding that one thing always drags me down. I feel worthless as a man. I feel like I’m worthless to the opposite sex, like I have nothing at all to offer. I’ve been in a few relationships but every time I’m single I start to feel so bad about myself. I know I could have a wonderful, spiritual life but it’s like these feelings keep blocking me.

    #80598
    anita
    Participant

    Dear joshwa:

    This is a very powerful statement: “I feel worthless as a man.” This is a devastating belief to be carrying around. If this has been a persistent belief that you’ve been carrying around, I hope you can be helped by a good psychotherapist so to eventually change this core belief. It is a belief and I have no doubt it is a false belief. But it is you that needs to believe that you are a worthy man. It must be very painful to carry such belief- my sympathy. I do hope that one day you will find yourself smiling and feeling that calm, pleasant, warm feeling of worth, saying to yourself: there is nothing wrong with me. I am okay.

    anita

    #80683
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hey there Josh,

    I can see that fear is standing in the way of living a wonderful and spiritual lifestyle. Anita is correct by that you need to be the one that realizes you are a worthy man. It is when you are single I see that you are the most vulnerable and it is during that time in which you need to “form” or “mold” yourself into a worthy man. I’m sure you are aware that a man is not defined by the amount of romantic relationships he has during his lifetime, but rather the impact he leaves on others during his time here on Earth. A worthy man lives the life he wants and looks everyday for better ways to improve his already fulfilling life. Once a man realizes this, the rest comes to him in ways he could have never imagined. The only person standing in your way of living a simple, wonderful/spiritual life is YOU.
    Thank you and take care.

    #80925
    Josh
    Participant

    Thanks so much to both of you. I know that I have a lot of work to do on nurturing a loving relationship with myself. It’s something that I have struggled with for years now. Thank you Anita for your suggestion of psychotherapy. I would really like to know deep down why I feel like I do. It’s like sometimes the feelings come up and I can’t even explain it I know that all of the bad things I think about myself aren’t true but sometimes it still hurts just as much. Either way my heart keeps growing little by little everyday. Peace 🙂

    #80926
    anita
    Participant

    Dear joshwa:

    You wrote: “I know that all of the bad things I think about myhself aren’t true” – well you may know it on an intellectual level, with the “rational mind” but not with the “emotional mind.” Unless you know something with the latter, emotionally, unless you believe it in your heart, you don’t really KNOW. You have a core belief in something that is not true but you believe it. Through therapy, good enough therapy, you will find out the Why- how it started and you FEEL at one point, you will be amazed, you will FEEL that there is nothing wrong with you- a totally different ball game of knowing…
    anita

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