Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Two people arguing within me
- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Selkie.
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November 16, 2018 at 7:47 am #237133JulissaParticipant
Hello All,
For years I have suffered mood swings and anxiety since I was 16 (I am 26 now). This year has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. From relationships to friendships, my mood swings have taken a toll on me. I have been on lexapro (10 mg) for about a year now. It has helped me however I am at fault for forgetting to take my med sometimes and it throws my emotions off balance.
I literally feel for such a tiny person, that there are two people within me constantly at odds with one another. There’s one person within me that’s this free spirited, go with the flow personality and another person within me that’s this negative, drama, jealous, territorial personality. It’s not who I am meant and want to be. I’m finding the struggle between balancing or just completely eliminating the negative person within me. My mind will not be quiet. I am constantly talking to myself, in my mind, everyday trying to self reflect how I feel. I have gone to therapy for a year now but recently stopped since I felt like it wasn’t helping me progress. Does anyone else feel like this?
Also, I strongly believe in astrology and even though it’s a common trait for Geminis, I won’t sit here and blame it on the stars. This is a personal disorder I’ve been living with and I want to better myself for myself and for others around me.
Thank you for reading! Your advice is greatly appreciated.
November 16, 2018 at 9:54 am #238007AnonymousGuestDear Julissa:
I still have a person inside me arguing, raining on my parade of living, having commentary on what I am doing wrong. That free spirited person within me, this person suffered a whole lot of arguing against her. The arguing person is known as the inner critic. I call it the inner bully, in my case it is. The inner bully I know is a mental representative of my mother who argued against me a whole lot, telling me how I was wrong.. when I was not.
Is this true in your case as well, the person within you arguing being the mental rep of a person or persons in your life as a child?
anita
November 16, 2018 at 10:21 am #238023JulissaParticipantWow Anita, t’s funny you say that because I would say my inner critic is my father. My negative side is VERY much like him. My dad has a huge heart but he can be a big baby when it comes to emotions. He’s very controlling, manipulative and likes to guilt trip. I guess it makes sense being that I grew up from that.
Question though, how are you able to balance it? Do you talk to your inner critic to calm the voices and emotions down?
- This reply was modified 6 years ago by Julissa.
November 16, 2018 at 10:41 am #238029AnonymousGuestDear Julissa:
Yes, I talk sense to myself following the inner critic giving me its input. It so happens that my inner critic makes no sense. Problem is the inner critic is not only a voice, or a dry thought, it is also emotion and the emotion is convincing, so even though often the thought makes no sense, it feels true nonetheless.
The inner critic, the mental representative of our critical parent, is a combination of thought and emotion, and so it is difficult to tackle. You can give me an example of a thought+emotion provided by your inner critic and take it from there.
anita
November 16, 2018 at 6:24 pm #238119SelkieParticipantI feel for you Julissa. I’ve been on that rollercoaster too! I know you feel like therapy wasn’t helping, but the right therapist can be a godsend. I didn’t find the right one until my third try and it was totally worth it. But aside from therapy, it might help to find an activity that distracts you from your emotions temporarily- so you can deal with them later. And when you deal with them later, they may actually not feel as intense as before. Like a physical activity- going to yoga really helped me. Or learning a language- another activity that helps, because you’re so focused on rules and pronunciation and ‘left brain’ stuff that the right emotional brain can rest for a bit. Duolingo is a really fun way to learn, if you’re interested in that. Meditation is another activity that works, though for me, mantra meditation has always worked better than silent meditation.
And as for forgetting meds, can you use a timer as a reminder, or ask friend/family members to remind you? Who knows, maybe another type of medication would work better if you wanted to look into that. Hope this helps.
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