Unable to forgive myself

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Matt.
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    Hi, my name is Casey.

    So, a few months ago I got involved with this girl, lets call her “B”. So, I’ve known B for about 5 or 6 years but never really got to know her (We’re in the same class). But eventually over the course of a year I got a crush on her, but I was too much of a coward to do anything about (Social anxiety) But then suddenly prom is in couple of months and I get an idea: “Hey, I should ask her to prom”. But like I said before I’m too much of a coward. I told my friend…lets call him “F”, about it, and he pushed me into it. And she told me yes. So, naturally, having never had a girl like me before, I was psyched. For about a month we didn’t talk much, but then i got her phone number and we started texting…a lot. and over the course of several weeks (still before prom), we get really lovey dovey with each other. Then prom night finally rolls around, and it went fairly smoothly, I took her to a very nice restaurant, bought her roses, got pictures taken and all the usual prom stuff. The next morning she texts me and tells me she had a great time, so, out of naivety, I ask her to another date, and she said yes. We set to a few weeks after prom (too soon after in hindsight), and things are fine until a couple weeks before the date. She got all distant and less “lovey” and often responded to my affection with apathy. Then, on the morning of the date, she called me and gave me a “Dear John” speech saying how it could never work out and I need to move on

    I ended up spending that day and the following day crying my balls off. I eventually worked up the courage to call her and tell her that we could work it out and such. She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship, so I told her I would wait, and she told me she only wanted to be friends. But I had fallen desperately in love with her by that point, so the thought of being “just friends” was unbearable to me. So we went a couple of weeks without talking, and then we agreed to be friends again, for a while….. Then I told her I had strong feelings for her and being friends was really hard (I’m starting to sound like a child, Huh?) and I don’t thing I could do, but then I went back again and asked to be friends but then I got a nasty text from B’s brother telling me to leave her. So naturally I did what the man told me, I left her alone. Weeks go by and I ask her to be friends again and she agreed, So that actually works out for quite a while. We managed to stay friends for a couple of months before, I got overrun with emotions and told her (again *sigh*) what I felt, and she told me to never speak to her again. And now I’m here.

    Having written all of this down, I realized how petty the whole thing was and I’m rather ashamed about how I acted.

    Now berate me for my childish naivety and pettiness.


    And the thing is, I realized why she left me. I was too clingy. I texted her way too much and obsessive with her. I never realized that about myself and now and can’t stand to think that I did that.



    There are tons of girls who would laugh at your words “texted too much”… many girls would be overjoyed to have so much attention. There is no need to be ashamed of following your inspiration… it sounds like that girl just wasnt a good fit for you. Keep going, keep looking. There are millions of beautiful (inside and out) girls in this world, and any number of them would love the attentions of a young man such as yourself.

    If I were to see any of it as a “mistake”, I would say you waited too long after prom to go on another date. Don’t be afraid to ask girls for another date if you want one… if you want to see them again, tell them! They like that. Heck, we all do.

    With warmth,

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