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Unable to move forward from the relationship wont work

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  • #150133
    mystry
    Participant

    Hello!!! This story is little long. I have been in relationship for past 4 months, but all the sudden my whole world changed into dark. We came close together from October but before me she had 3 relationships but all are shorter relationships . I am hers fourth guy. All breakups have its own reason she stated clearly. During the first day of my college I just proposed her but that time she was in relationship with my senior. Then I left that thinking and started to move forward on my life. After sometime that guy cheated her then she was free for some time after that during internship she dated another guy and that also didn’t work after the internship.then she started found another guy he is also my senior.but the thing is that guy is not good at all.he tortured her in many ways.meanwhile we went for college tour from that time onwards we came closer and even I was with her the third guy influence was there.after all the issues from feb 2 our relationships begins.we proposed each other and started to love.let me tell about us i am a middle class guy she is very rich and both religions are different .like her religion is totally opposite from mine..she follows Jainism and i am hindu.from the beginning itself. I started to think practically and used to tell her it wont work and because her family is very orthodox and they wont give their daughters to other religion guy.be she always think positive and asked me to stay strong and we will work on it.Recently her parents found the groom for her’s elder sisiter.The guy they found he is very rich and both family is ok about that..after the engagement she described everything about the groom’s family and their wealth at certain point I felt too inferior in front them.so I stated everything clearly to her. I wont fit for u.your parents are expecting differently it work .Now only problem started she took that seriously and now started to say it wont work ,your family,religion will not fit for us.just forget me and move on.I asked her the same thing I used to say from the beginning but why you didn’t think that before.for that she is telling I was in fantasy world and now I am thinking maturely. Now I started to think positively lets work on this till last-minute but she is not ready to do and she gave up on this completely..its really hurting me.But even I try to stop talk with her she used to send messages to me.from that I can understand on thing she can’t hurt me and her parents.so she is telling break this relationship and move on.i keep saying lets work on this miracles happens everyday,But she is not ready to listen anything…in this case what can i do?i tried my level to make her understand but she is not ready to listen and always replying with negativity.
    please help me to take decision wisely.. Regards Dan

    #150185
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Dan:

    I am not aware of miracles happening in cultures of arranged marriages, the miracles you referred to. It would require her to have incredible courage and strength to endure her family’s rejection of her, if she chose to marry you, to accept losing her family (and their wealth) if she married you, and be ostracized not only by her family but by society itself.

    Why did she pursue you from the beginning? Maybe she was infatuated with you. But you talked some sense to her, some logic. Later you rejected your  own logic.

    I understand emotions vs. logic. I understand your drive to believe in miracles. Unfortunately, those miracles must be extremely rare while the heartache involved in expecting such miracles is very common, don’t you think?

    anita

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