Uncomfortable with apartment complex

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    Hello all!

    I honestly was not even sure what to title this.

    After some hectic months, I decided moving (places) quickly was best for my health, although the apartment circumstances were not solid – i.e , moving in while my application is still being processed, and the current roommate (let’s say Ruby) not being on the lease as her application has taken over a month to process.

    Details :  The two girls on the lease are let’s say Heidi and Klum. Heidi is the subleasing the room to me currently, and Klum is subleasing to my current roommate, Ruby. Klum and Heidi did not want to break the lease so they chose to sublease to Ruby and I.


    Anyhow, I have only been moved in a few weeks. My application is still pending. I was not fast to complete it as I was hesitant and being avoidant, but still replying within reasonable time.

    Some days ago, the building called me asking if I was living in the building saying they were renters insurance. I told them they are processing my application.

    Some days later, I go downstairs to smoke (cannabis) as I do for my well being and part of meditation practice. I was not aware the building was non smoking as Heidi informed me I could smoke downstairs. Two people working from the building approach me and are being very aggressive. The conversation goes as follows:

    building: “Hi sorry we can’t have you hanging out here, this is a non smoking building”

    me: “Oh, I’m so sorry I wasn’t aware. I’ll pack up now” *my room keys visible*

    building: “Do you live in the building or are you a passerbyer or?!”

    at this point she seems so upset

    me: “Am I a passerbyer? Do you see my room keys? That’s not right to judge tenants for how they look and say something like that to them”

    at this point, her and the male associate that accompanied her down are following me to the elevator.

    I call my mom as I’m having a panic attack feeling I can’t breathe from their aggression and judgement ( it’s also a hectic time. Corona doesn’t help when tenants can’t simply go to the park to smoke , and outside seems not clean. I’m in a busy city ).

    I ask for the woman’s name and tell her my full name and unit number. I tell her I don’t feel safe as I’m shaking and they stop following me

    Shortly after I go down & ask for the manager. The manager is not in – only the front desk associations and the woman who approached me. I tell them they should screen people more professionally and it’s not right to judge tenants based on what they look like or what they’re dressed like. They eventually apologize. Later that night I see another guy who works with leasing office who was working on my application, he apologizes profusely.

    Still, I wonder should I continue my application in an apartment building where I am already experiencing problems or am I the problem? What is the problem? I do like to smoke cannabis and that’s why I moved to a state where it is 100% legal. I don’t want to be shamed for a simple lifestyle choice. If I can’t smoke at my building, that’s fine, but I wonder if it’s a big enough deal breaker.

    I have the option to stay with some family friends in a more peaceful home / seemingly city but then I’d have to move states for now. Even if only two or three months

    I will add I’ve always lived somewhere peaceful. I’ve always lived near the beach, or a house with a yard or our own nature space. Even in a high rise, I’ve never lived in one so crowded and where I cannot smoke. Most buildings don’t allow but people do anyway, but my roommate  is not into it fair enough. I don’t know if I’m being picky and should suck it up and try to make the best, finish out the application process. Or just leave now. I will say I didn’t want to move as I feel for my work it’s best in the city, but my family friends home could be a temporary rejuvenation option. What do you guys think? Sorry for all the words! I appreciate your help and time.

    To clarify, I feel people judge by how you present yourself. Before heading down, I thought to look more presentable but I said no – I’m still home, I’m just going downstairs , I mean I’m paying for my home I should feel comfortable to not have to dress up to leave each time at every hour to not be judged ( or something ).


    • This topic was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by Bun.

    Dear Bun:

    There is a manager and a front desk in the building where you are sub-leasing. And there are “Two people working from the building”, who approached you regarding you smoking downstairs.

    Are there written rules regarding smoking and other conduct for tenants in that particular building, and what are the jobs/ roles of the two people who approached you, what is their connection to the manager?



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