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Unconditional Love & Unrealistic Expectations?

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    Annie
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    Hello all,

    I am doing well overall, but some things are causing me a lot of emotional distress. I am estranged from my family and live with my boyfriend’s family. About a week ago, my boyfriend’s older sister, who just went through a break up got really drunk and harassed his parents over the phone. She was angry that I was staying in their home and that they didn’t love her and she apparently couldn’t go anywhere because I was around. I knew she was a difficult person, so I tried really hard to get a long with her from the beginning. She never said anything to me and I have not done anything to her directly. She is just very unsuccessful in her life and I think she is jealous of me and my boyfriend’s relationship. She doesn’t have a job and her parents pay for everything she has. She is in her late 20s. After she harassed her parents, she also harassed my boyfriend and he told me a couple of the things she said about me. They were horrible things.

    I have been emotionally abused for a long time in my life which is why I am estranged from family. I was extremely stressed out by her erratic behavior ex. staying in her room whenever I was around and storming out of the room whenever I spoke to my boyfriend. I have come to a point in my life where I am making my own family as in choosing my friends and making them my family. My boyfriend’s parents unconditionally love their children and I have never experienced that, it makes me very uncomfortable. I am angry that she has attacked me and is continuing to be mean to me even though I have done absolutely nothing. I basically told my boyfriend If we got married then I didn’t want her there. For some people this is absurd because family is family, but that is not how I feel. Anyone who is rude and unsupportive of me does not deserve to be a part of my life. Nobody is entitled to anything in this world even if they are family. He told me that he is supportive of me, but his sister would be there. I on the other hand never want to see her or deal with her ever again. I am very angry and upset. I have conflicted emotions between loving my boyfriend and hating his sister. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations, but I always wanted someone who would love me and support me…I’m not sure how I feel or if I wrong to feel this way? I have become turned off the thought of marriage and a family over all. The only person who could love me and make me feel secure is me. I am struggling. I am not sure what I expected? Do you just expect someone to leave everything else if they love you? Is that wrong?

    • This topic was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Annie.
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