Unemployed and Stressed

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    Hi, everyone. I’m currently unemployed, and have been since April. (To make a long story short, there was a personality conflict between myself and my manager.) It’s getting stressful and frustrating. I’ve gotten interviews, but they end up going nowhere. I am bad at networking, too. And the constant question, “Have you found a job yet?” and not having an answer beyond, “No, not yet, still looking though!” is getting exhausting. And I’m starting to think maybe I don’t have any talents, that I’m not good enough.

    Does this ever get better? Does anyone have any advice to get through this career slump?


    Dear Angie:

    My advice:

    -“there was a personality conflict between myself and my manager”- review what happened, figure out what you would do differently if you could go back in time, and use this as a learning experience for a future job where you will experience personality conflicts with a manager/ co – workers again.

    -“I am bad at networking”- get better at it, not excellent at this point, just better.

    -“And the constant question, ‘Have you found a job yet?’.. is getting exhausting”- if it is the same question by the same people, tell them: please stop asking me. I will let you know when I find a job!

    -“I’m starting to think maybe I don’t have any talents, that I’m not good enough”- improve your skills that are relevant to the job or  jobs you are looking for, maybe take a class or volunteer for that purpose.

    -And post here anytime, if it helps.



    Hi Angie

    I’m sorry you’re going through this!

    I know my situation may be a little different from yours but I too am unemployed at the moment after spending years at my full time job (with another PT job and school on the side), so I’ve gone from being very busy and productive to absolutely nothing. I am currently in transition trying to plan the next move. The shift has hit me very hard and I’m struggling with intense anxiety and low mood more days than not.

    Times like this bring out feelings of inadequacy and it sucks. From previous experiences I find the best way to get through is by tapping into your self-confidence and raising it as much as you can. Do something easy in the moment that you know you do well, to remind yourself that you have valuable skills (ie. make a list, journal, give advice, workout, etc.). Join something that you know makes you happy so you can feel productive and proud (volunteer, play a sport, take a class). Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel good. Write positive reminders for yourself and post them around your house. Read and recite affirmations daily.

    These things may seem small and for me raising confidence is one of those “well duh but how” kind of things, but I really believe it is worth focusing on. Self-assured people get remembered in interviews, network better because they have nothing to lose, and tend to have fewer negative thoughts about themselves. For me I rarely succeed if I don’t feel good about myself so it’s the only logical place to start.

    In terms of interviews, following up immediately after is a good idea, just a quick email thanking them for their time and showing your enthusiasm. It makes you stand out. Doing your research about the place beforehand is good too, shows you are actually interested in them specifically, which is what they want. Additionally don’t feel like you need to be an expert in what you’re applying to, just show them that you have transferable skills and that whatever the work is, you are capable of learning. I think a lot of people get caught up with trying to fit the “profile” and forget that it makes more of an impact being yourself.

    Another thing – being in limbo can sometimes be a good opportunity to try something new or go in a different direction (if you choose). Just an option, to consider looking at alternative pathways like furthering your education and seeing what connections you make… volunteering and seeing if they have any opportunities… trying a totally different PT job or something casual just for fun while you continue searching? Can never hurt to try something new and it’s always easier to network once you are already a part of something.

    Keep working through this, it will get better!



    Hi Angie,

    The next time someone asks you how the job search is going, have THEM help find you a job! THEY can network on your behalf and put a good word in for you!

    Then the next time they’re all, “Have you found anything?” follow up with, “Hey, did you call Bob about that office job and put in a good word with that other business for me?”

    They can be an irritant or part of the solution. They’ll quickly talk about just the weather if they’re not interested in more work.



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