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Unfriending IRL

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  • January 8, 2019 at 9:40 am #273101
    Debbie
    Participant

    I have broken away from two friends in the past two years because I realized our relationships were one-sided and I was tired of doing all the giving and work.  I simply stopped contacting them and since I was the one who always initiated contact, the friendships have faded. I feel better yet I also feel there’s no closure.  Maybe that’s ok since throughout my life I’ve had friends come and go but these two were what I considered good friends, until I wised up.  I feel the urge/need to write a letter to these friends explaining why I’ve broken off the friendship.

    Your opinion?

    Thanks in advance.

    January 8, 2019 at 10:01 am #273121
    Mark
    Participant

    Debbie,

    I have had close friends ghost me, stopped returning my texts, etc.  Everything is temporary.  The Buddhist Four Nobel Truths talk about clinging causes suffering.

    I get angry and I mourn for the loss of my friends.  This is life.  As Byron Katie said, If you argue with reality, you lose.

    It cannot hurt sending a letter of closure.  I would caution you that you may get anger or blame or at least being defensive from them.

    I am of mixed feelings on “closure.”  What if you did send those letters?  What if they never responded?  What if they did respond but with hostility?  Would any of that make you feel any better?

    Mark

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