fbpx
Menu

Waiting in vain?

HomeForumsRelationshipsWaiting in vain?

New Reply
Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #151028
    Asad
    Participant

    I have been seeing a filipina woman since 2014.  I knew from the start that she was in a relationship with someone that was living in the Philippines.  She said she caught him cheating and was unhappy, she also only sees him once a year. I went into the relationship just for the company and told myself that i wouldn’t get attached, which worked for the first two years.  During that time she would come stay with me a lot of the weekends.  I knew that she lived with her mom and brother, and she would lie to them to see me.  It didn’t bother me, at first. Then at the start of 2016 i realized that I really loved her. i have been in maybe 4 long term relationships and I’ve never felt this way about the rest, she say she feels the same way.  So now that i feel strongly about her, I have been to meet her family and I’m sure they know how i feel about her, even though she still doesn’t say anything to them about me as far as how she feels.  I’ve been telling her ways that I feel would work for her to tell her family about us.  She keeps telling me that they need to see that I’m willing to put in work to be with her?  They are from the Philippines and the culture is very family orientated, but at the same point I feel that she also needs show interest in me, and get rid of the attachment their.  I have made many suggestions as to how we could tell them, and every time I do she says that she’s too scared and that they would send her back to the Phillipines,which i dont believe. I dont know why she’s holding onto that relationship in her country after being in the U S for 7 years. Now when she goes I have a huge resentment, and most recently have been willing to date others. I’ve told her that she will loose me if something doesn’t change soon. This probably sounds like an easy answer to most, but if you knew the way that I feel, and the way we act together, you might understand why I have been willing to wait so long. I feel like this only comes around once in a lifetime and I have still to just go to her family and say how I feel to them.  I dont know if thats a good idea because i dont want them to feel shame on her, or her to feel like I’m betraying her.  Im at the point that i am about to start dating others.  But as a final effort, I am asking for advice, and also if theres anything that you might think is worth trying before giving up? We are both around 38 and i dont want to stay unhappy any longer.

    Thanks

    #151048
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Asad:

    You definitely deserve to have clear information from her, such as:

    -what is the nature of her relationship with the man that she sees once a year?

    -are her parents pressuring her to date that man once a year? to marry him and have the two of them live together? What is her parents’ motivation regarding this man and her?

    -did her parents threaten to “send her back to the Philippines”?

    I think that she owes you this information and you need it so to make your decision to keep this relationship going as is, change it, or end it.

    anita

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.