But I am feeling afraid that they won’t respond in the way I am hoping, that I won’t recieve the comfort or affection that I’m seeking, that they won’t really care or even dismiss me. It’s nothing super serious, but I’ve been feeling really lonely lately, and just things I want to get out to someone I really love and trust. I’ve never reached out to someone like this, not once, ever, so it seems like something big and scary to me. I’m not sure what to do.

I feel so pushed to do it. Lately, I am surrounded by people who drain me, I leave it feeling so sad, and lonely, I come home and cry so often now.. and I really want to tell another friend how I’m feeling and stuff, and of the situation, but I’m feeling scared about it. I don’t want to be a burden, and I feel like I will be somewhat of a burden. Whether this is fear talking or not I can’t help but feel like its like?? somewhat truee..??? But I’ll never know until I try right? This person is dear to me but I just don’t know how you approach these kind of things, and I feel embarassed and awkward honestly, just the thought of it would make me feel weird. There isnt really an appropriate time to talk about it in real life right now, so it’d be over text, but that’d be better than nothing, but it’d be kinda harder to get things across and I’d feel more awkward, but I’m still nervous. I feel like I’m going to be made fun off, even though on a concious level, I know that’s just irrational.

Should I take the risk..? I am feeling scared and worried about it. But it could offer me some relief too. but I just dont know. I kind of wish people could read my mind lol, that someone would approach me first, and ask me if I’m okay, pick up on how I’m feeling lately…. but I know that isn’t possible aha, but it’d be nice…. 😛 And besides, its a good ‘skill’, I guess to be able to reach out for help like this. But I’m feeling scared about it as I described… How do you even bring that up in a conversation?

Since I can’t tell them in real life, I’d be worried they’d be doing something fun, maybe with other people, and they just get a text from me like that, and, y’know. I mean, if I asked, if they have time to talk about things/if they’re busy, that probably wouldnt be an issue but I’m also kind of afraid that they would let me say everything, and they would be with people, and tell/show them what I’m saying. I know its pretty irrational, it’s not like I really have a valid reason to think that’d happy, I am being silly aha 😛 But still.. It’d just be such a nice relief and clarity to get it out. This person, even just talking to them a little really lifts me up, I love their presence.

Lots of rambling!! It is my first time here, I just made my account for this, aha 🙂 Sorry for the rambling, I know so much of that was just sorting out my own thoughts, and I kind of answered my own question- that I should go for it, but still. If anyone has any advice or just thoughts or personal experience with facing this kind of fear, I would appreciate it so much, thank you so much if you’ve read all this 🙂