Hi Allison!
I’m sorry to hear about this experience you’re having. It’s really hard not getting closure from someone who you thought felt the same way about you as you did with them. I have had a similar experience, and it was extremely hard to get over.
But I think once you start thinking about yourself, and shift the focus from this guy over to YOU and what you can do to feel better and peace with YOURSELF, than things really start to change.
I started doing a lot of yoga and getting deeper into the practice. It really helped calm me and created a spiritual connection with myself, that was lacking due to all of my energy going straight to the failed relationship and lack of closure.
I also spent time with my family more, and just planned for my own future and became excited about all the opportunities yet to come.
You seems young, you said you were in college right? My best advice is to focus on school and yourself and your health. Try not to give this guy too much of your energy, let him have his space and the only thing you can do is focus on you.

And if you really need to express your feelings of confusion and frustration with him, than do it. You deserve to have closure, and if he isn’t going to give that to you, than he isn’t a very respectable, loving man. He just isn’t worth it. Communicate your feelings, and if he doesn’t communicate in return, than move on and do the things I mentioned above 🙂 You will be fine!

P.S. Writing in a journal REALLY helps!

Dear Allison:

I hope you are still feeling better, judging by the smiley face in your yesterday post.

If he is not talking and chooses to not talk, to not share the why- then there is no way for you to know, no information to evaluate for truth that there may be there. You can only guess and then, from personal experience, you are more likely to guess wrong, not a good pursuit. So I agree with the advice given and taken by you, to focus on yourself and your life moving forward.

And one thing, just came to my mind, that you can possibly learn from this: did you notice lack of communication from him earlier? If yes, or no- it is probably a good idea to pay attention with the next guy to the following:

Does he (the next guy) becomes withdrawn and uncommunicative following a problem, shutting down? Following a small problem..? This is a good indication to how he will deal with a bigger problem. Then you can adjust your expectations and choose how close or not you want to get to a guy who will disenge when there is a problem instead of confronting and dealing with the problem.

anita

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m dealing with a lot of heartbreak as well and have found a few things that have seemed to help me personally.
1) Unfollow/delete them off of all social media sites.
2) Delete their number from your phone.
3) Move or get rid of things that will be a strong reminder of them.
4) Google “acceptance and commitment therapy.”
5) Read fiction as an escape.
6) This has been the most difficult, but most rewarding thing for me personally: Do new things by yourself. I feel uncomfortable being alone so I’ve made small steps to do things outside of my comfort zone that I wouldn’t normally do. This helps me learn to be less co-dependent. I go shopping alone, treat myself to good food, coffee, or tea alone, explore new hobbies alone, etc… Also, if you aren’t ready to do these things alone, try them with a good friend.