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Was I wrong to offer friendship.. feeling I’ve done wrong

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Viewing 4 posts - 16 through 19 (of 19 total)
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  • #373146
    Oceandrive24
    Participant

    Dear Anita..

    I have done some research into DBT and from what I understand DBT is a type of talking therapy based on CBT but specially adapted for those who feel emotions very intensely. The aim of DBT is to understandand and accept difficult feelings, learn the skills to manage them, and become able to make positive changes in your life.‘ Dialectical’ means trying to understand how two things that seem opposite could both be true.

    I can see how this would be helpful for my son, but the barrier he has is engaging with people other than immediate family. He literally avoids other people. He has so far refused to engage with professionals who he has been referred to making it exceedingly difficult to access help, support, therapy/treatment. So I am effectively on my own in trying to help and support him. I really don’t know how to reach him to be able to help/support him and I feel at a complete loss..

    #373147
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Oceandrive24:

    It’s a tough one. If he met the right professional for him, someone with just the right attitude, someone who would have neutralize your son’s alarm about meeting new people- that would be a wonderful thing, but it didn’t happen. I figure that the reason he engages with immediate family (you and his brother) from time to time is because immediate family is always there around him, and his father is there when he visits with him,  so from time to time he ends up engaging with the people who are there in proximity to him.

    If he had professional always around him, I bet he would have engaged with them once in a while.

    Because he experienced repeated frustration with you regarding being understood, I figure your best bet is to no longer ask him the same/ similar questions, to no longer address the same issues in the same ways with him, but do something different, something in the context of play/ a game. Is there a game the two of you can play together, anything from a board game like monopoly to an interactive computer game that you are comfortable playing with him?

    anita

    #373152
    Oceandrive24
    Participant

    I think your right, had he have had a professional around him all the time he would have probably engaged with them by now.

    I was just a short while ago thinking about how else I might connect with my son, he enjoys playing a game on his console called Minecraft which I sometimes join him with. He also likes to play a game called House Flipper, and away from the console he likes to play poker. He likes to watch certain programmes on TV too, and is also showing an interest in painting and decorating, so I was thinking that may be other ways to connect.

    #373153
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Oceandrive24:

    I agree with you, these are the ways to connect with him, I see no other ways but to play with him- playing is how he relieves his stress. The lower his stress- the more he is available to connect. (Talking about his OCD, about anxiety- that’s just going to elevate his stress, which will cause him to shut down).

    anita

Viewing 4 posts - 16 through 19 (of 19 total)

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