What Am I Doing?

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    I have two ways of being that are giving me grief in recovering from a broken heart:

    1) open, loving, accepting, compassionate, joyful
    2) closed, sad, frustrated, confused, regretful

    My relationship ended 8 months ago. For the past three months my ex and I have exchanged texts and on occasion indirectly expressed how we are feeling about life/each other. Two weeks ago I went to visit him for a day. I spent the night and we hung out like old times, but never spoke about our relationship and how it ended on a bad note with no closure. I was fine with that, as I have been practicing accepting others and the present moment as it is.

    I continued texting him or sending facebook messages (usually just something silly, but also how I missed him on x-mas). He reciprocated about half the time, but sometimes he just doesn’t respond. Usually I’m fine with that, but today it made me really sad.

    So now I feel those feelings like I do in being #2. I think maybe I should just let him be. I should disconnect from him. I don’t know what he wants. I want nothing more than to be with him again (I spent the better part of the last 8 months figuring that out). I haven’t said that to him because we live in different places and have our own new lives going on.

    I’m just so confused. I know how to nurture my self, my life, to find joy and happiness with what is. But this path of confusion is never-ending. And I don’t want to make a decision to cut him out of my life from place #2. I know it’s just my hurt state that wants to say forget it all. It’s just all very confusing.

    Any suggestions, comments, wisdom?


    No contact is the only way to go and it is painful but you will heal quicker. Staying friends and talking, being in his life prolongs your heart from letting go and you’ll stay on that awful ride of the emotional roller coaster. I just posted something similar to your thread here actually. Hope it can help you as well…

    I say, let the anger out, write down what you feel and why. It’ll help give yourself closure and also let you grieve the loss, let go of hope and make you see that he isn’t worth fighting for. His loss, though I’m sure it doesn’t feel that way right now.

    I am grieving too, still and it’s going to take a while to heal. Just be good to yourself, most of all. No point of regret and beating up on yourself with the ‘I should have done this or that’ thoughts…All that does is make you feel worse and sad.

    Stay strong and vent it out as much as you can. Most of all? Keep your humour going and make sure to really laugh and have fun with your friends, it lifts your spirits up and is so helpful.

    Take care.

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