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What are "needs"?

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  • #61777
    Ace I
    Participant

    Not sure if this is the right thread.

    Julian Hall wrote an article here titled “Finding Happiness Without Needing Success and Validation”, and it got me wondering to myself what my needs are. The only thing I’m constantly in need of is money. Money to get a place, money to sustain myself, money to put in savings and investments and the like.

    While I’m slowly learning to break away from my parents’ approval, I see myself clinging on to my best friends. We talk almost everyday, and they live in another country which I can’t afford a plane ride to, and I always get this deep sense of emptiness and loneliness (I stop myself from saying I feel unneeded), when a day passes when I can’t talk to them. Does that count as dependency?

    What are emotional needs and how do I identify and attend to them?

    #61807
    Stacey
    Participant

    How I like to think of needs much like the foundation of a house. My needs make up the foundation of who I am at the most basic emotional level. As humans, we will do anything to meet our needs – some people meet them in healthy, empowering ways, some people meet them in self-destructing ways and some are met neutrally.

    Most people’s emotional needs include (but are not limited to):
    – Love/Connection/Sense of Belonging/Community
    – Stability/Safety/Certainty
    – Being seen, heard and accepted for who they are
    – Service/Contribution
    – Growth/Evolution/Education/Career Advancement
    – Personal Expression: creative, artistic, through work or play
    – Autonomy/Independence/Freedom

    To put this into context, your description around money sounds like that of a need for certainty and stability that you perceive money brings.

    It also sounds like there is a strong need for connection, hence the yearning to talk with your friends.

    I would invite you to think about the above needs and to objectively look at the day-to-day actions you take around these needs. Which are of higher priority to you? Are you meeting them in ways that are empowering and positive? And not to take judgement if the answer is no.

    Hope this gives you some clarity.
    Love and light

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Stacey.
    #61929
    Ace I
    Participant

    I never really saw money as “stability”…

    If there’s anything I’ve connected with, it’s my constant need for freedom. I don’t mind living with my parents all that much, since they know how to keep their distance, but I despised the thought of captivity and simply “doing what I’m told”. I immediately sympathize, say, with caged animals or slaves or people who are unable to make choices because they are not free to do so. In the context of money, I work a taxing $6/day job so I’m free in the sense of buying whatever I want.

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