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What are you Tolerating in your Relationship

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  • November 28, 2015 at 2:05 pm #88480
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear LoveCoachLynn:

    Let’s see if I get it: you met a man through online dating and instantly felt an intense attraction to him. You felt like you shared the same interests, that he was your soul mate. You experienced great, intense pleasure in his company, only the time you spent with him was too short and rare: two hours every 2-3 weeks for seven months. You wanted to spend more time with him and hoped he will make time, but that didn’t happen. You asked him for help a few times and he didn’t help you. You sent him many texts which he ignored. You felt sad, disappointed, unheard. You finally decided that his behavior was disrespectful of you and ended the rare and short visits with him.

    You took a stand and honored yourself- great lesson! Thank you for sharing.

    anita

    November 29, 2015 at 6:33 pm #88521
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I happen to come across your post. I went true a similar experience lasting close to 12 months ago. It was in the beginning exciting, than it became very painful. I also thought we had a connection. Looking back I can’t believe it was me excepting crumps from this individual. Deep down I think my reason for tolerating his behavior I thought he was my soulmate. The missing link to an unavailable father. I want to thank you for your post, it help me look at myself and learn to honor myself. Bina

    November 29, 2015 at 9:27 pm #88524
    jock
    Participant

    What am I tolerating in my relationship?

    -her tardiness in regard to meal preparation
    -house not being cleaned to the desired standard daily
    -her being allowed to visit friends once a week
    -her speaking out of turn
    -not wearing the dress that I choose her to wear, when we go out together

    Is that enough?

    November 30, 2015 at 5:29 am #88539
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * You are… hilarious, once again, Jack. I knew you were kidding the second line. Third- I was sure you were kidding.Fourth, I knew for sure. Speaking out of turn! ha ha ha. And, no it is not enough, always need a good laugh. Your humor is appreciated!!!
    anita

    November 30, 2015 at 10:07 pm #88616
    Courtney
    Participant

    Lynn, this was so wonderfully put! I feel like you’re describing one of my most recent relationships!

    I met an Anesthesiologist Resident on a dating site and completely fell for him. Our chemistry made me feel alive. I was completely infatuated by him: his attractiveness, his smell, even looking into his eyes made me blush.

    He talked to me about his love for art (which I love as well), his beliefs aligned with mine, and I instantly thought he may be the one.

    Reality check! As the weeks went on my attraction for him grew but he steadily started pulling away saying he was “so busy.” He went from texting me in the operating room (literally, before or after his job was done) to not texting me for days at a time.

    I’m so happy you wrote out the “hooks” of your relationship. I related to them. I imagine a future with this man, but deep in my heart I know there is no future. If I have a true love, he wouldn’t continuously miss or avoid opportunities to see or talk to me.

    I think it’s time to let him go for good. I’ll miss him, but I’ll also miss the entire fantasy life I created. That’s all it is. A fantasy.

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