November 17, 2015 at 4:45 pm #87810
Jack – thank you too, for adding to your list. Certainty is huge for me right now – that’s what I’m working on. I’m a little surprised to see “the need for social status” – that’s very honest to admit!
And I don’t see anything wrong with creature comforts myself… give me more chocolate any day 🙂November 17, 2015 at 5:10 pm #87814jockParticipant
I mean if I didn’t care about social status at all, I mightn’t even comb my hair before going to the supermarket. Caring about our appearance is a form of social status, isn’t it?November 20, 2015 at 11:13 am #87985LayceeParticipant
I haven’t thought about what I need to let go of in a while, but I think that doing it every once in a while or at least taking an ‘inventory’ of different things in our lives really does help us. This is what I have changed within the past few months:
Like Saiisha and Anita too I let go of TV, but as an everyday thing and don’t watch/read the news as much. I read enough to stay aware of things going on because knowledge is never a bad thing. I do still watch TV, but for about 45mins-1hour a week, only one episode of one show that I really enjoy. Every year from about November to January I stay away from the news anyway because the negative factors of it skyrocket this time of year.
I have stopped biting my nails, something I did for 16 years. This habit carried a lot of weight with it my whole life, so being able to break it is more than choosing not to do something, at least to me.
I pushed through/came to terms with some (emotional) road blocks, resulting in me growing and giving me some motivation, while also giving me a general sense of direction instead of feeling so lost.
What still needs work:
Motivation, anxiety, depression. I still need to work on motivation because this fairly recent change has been amazingly positive, however, I know I have more to give, more to grow. The anxiety and depression issues are improving very much, but I know they still need work. To improve my anxiety and depression I just need to keep at it and not fixate on the times I can’t keep these feelings away.
I need to:
Remain peaceful but aware, to keep the negative emotions from getting to me but to also allow them to happen when they need to, and not dwelling on negatives; only on positives! Emotions are not all or nothing, they are natural responses that can be changed if someone feels they need to.
I’m still anorexic, still getting worse by the week in this respect. I truly don’t know what to do about that.
I also just moved, and though it is a negative thing right now, that is only because of the stress and problems of moving into a house that still needs work done to it. Even with all that, this new place is still amazingly better than where we were, so in time I know this place will be as close to perfect as we can get.
Can people please share some ‘Letting go’ tips/strategies that helped them out?
For me, mind over matter was the best thing, but this is likely because motivation is such a problem for me. I was not good at doing things for myself because I didn’t like myself enough to care and struggled with suicidal thoughts daily. I actually took a ‘negative’ self talk approach, but in the way I did it, it was different than the negative self talk I had before. I turned the depressing statements into statements that would make me angry enough to change them. Letting go of anger is easy for me again. I say again because after about a year or two or constant stress and one thing going wrong after another, I lost control of my emotions. Then made progress, then ended up in the same situation. I was once 100%, 24/7 raging angry. Controlling this emotion has been such an improvement in my life.
Thank you all! Keep up the positive!
-L.November 20, 2015 at 11:28 am #87987LayceeParticipant
I would have to say that social status and appearance are not the same thing, but they are related. Social status is where you place in your society, and usually the more money you have the higher your social status. Usually. For an example, someone could seem very successful because they have nice clothes, make up on, and can afford to go out if they want to. That person might actually barely have enough money to afford their rent and goes out to eat to save on bills. Or maybe seeing someone that doesn’t take care of themselves makes someone believe that this person doesn’t have money. In truth, they might be ‘rich’ (high ranking in society) but also lazy.
The problem is people often think appearance = value. If this were true then the only way books would be read is if they had an interesting enough design on their cover, regardless of the content inside.
-L.November 20, 2015 at 2:33 pm #87989jockParticipant
someone could seem very successful because they have nice clothes
If I value social status, I will comb my hair before I go shopping. And I will wear decent clothes. I;ve found that I get better customer service if I am dressed well. Therefore shop assistants are more likely to treat customers who appear to have higher social status. the homeless look doesn’t cut it. I know. I’ve tried it.
People make judgements based on your appearance, whether you like it or not.November 30, 2015 at 3:42 pm #88576
Hello Laycee – I had missed your comment on this earlier. It is cathartic to look within at yourself sometimes isn’t it? To realize how far you’ve come on your journey? I didn’t know biting nails could be such a big issue, but it sounds like it was a life-changing one for you!!
You were also brave to extend the topic to include what you’re still working on – but I hope it doesn’t drag you down to list what still needs work? Life is about growing and evolving, but if you take on anorexia and anxiety and depression as a whole, those are huge things to take on!
I have two tips that might help:
- Identify smaller things that you’d like to change that would lead to the bigger things you’d want to address. The advantage with trying to make smaller changes is that you’ll start changing immediately, and feel a sense of accomplishment. But the bigger idea here is that it also helps with generating energy and momentum toward your bigger goal.
- My second tip to create change is to focus on the positive, rather than fighting the negative. For example, if you want to get rid of a habit, it might be easier to replace it with another one that you can be excited about, rather than try to completely deny yourself.
Also, I wrote a blog post on this topic a little while ago, see if it resonates with you: http://www.nestintheforest.com/samskara/
I hope this helps… Good Luck!December 21, 2015 at 12:19 pm #90139MarkParticipant
Letting go of the news is key, I also let go of TV completely about 4 years ago and have not missed it. Yes, I still have a non-disclosed movie portal with a red icon and white writing, but generally, I don’t watch TV. The media has evolved to report negativity. When I see the news at a friends house, I’m often shocked at all the crime stories that are funneled through their TV. When I go outside and spend time with people, I don’t see it on my own. It’s as if the media sifts for stories that will shock viewers into continuing to watch.
More recently, I’ve let go of the snooze button on my alarm. The next thing I think I need to let go of is complaining about television. 🙂December 21, 2015 at 2:53 pm #90154
“A non-disclosed movie portal with a red icon” – that’s funny Mark 🙂
And I agree with you – I was just posting on another thread about not setting my alarm at all lately – that’s been an amazing change for me. I hated being woken up by the scream of an alarm clock; it’s much more pleasant to just drift awake with the warming sun on my face, and being able to remember my dreams!December 26, 2015 at 11:07 am #90604MarkParticipant
I’m not ready to get rid of my alarm yet. My alarm is set to Owl City’s “Fireflies”. not a bad way to wake up. 🙂