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What to do with my pregnancy

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  • #366177
    Natasha Birt
    Participant

    I unexpectedly found out i am pregnant for the first time at 34, with a boyfriend of 2 years. We had said we weren’t wanting to have children. Him particularly so as he has a lot of health issues. Our relationship hadnt been that fulfilling and i was mediating on it looking for an answer, then this happened. I don’t know what to do. He is adamant that i terminate even after the scan and heartbeat, and kept insisting we’ll get through it together. However I’ve had to tell him to back off and give me some space the last few days. I am still at an impass on what to do, my Gemini nature means decisions are difficult for me. I am hoping for a sign from the universe and dreading the day of decision next week. My mum is coming to help me. I wish i wasn’t in this pickel, but i am.

    • This topic was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by tinybuddha.
    #366199
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Natasha Birt:

    I am sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. As I am sure you know, the issue of terminating a pregnancy is a very personal issue, and one that is very political in some parts of the world, meaning people feel intensely about the issue- for or against it.

    I will tell you what I would personally do if I was in your situation as you described it: I would safely terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. That would be my choice because the world as it is- is a harsh world for any new arrival, but for a child to arrive to a father who never wanted him, who has health issues and is unable to parent him well, and perhaps to an overwhelmed single mother (and therefore, not having a single parent who is calm and able to parent well)- these are extra harsh conditions that add to the harsh world overall that is awaiting the potential new arrival.

    anita

    #366200
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am very sorry to hear your situation and I hope something in the answers on here will help. I think you have to decide if you want to be a mother or not. And can you take care of a baby with or without this man? Your boyfriend is totally against this pregnancy and if you terminate for him, you may grow to dislike or even hate him for “making” you do this. If you decide to keep the baby, then you may decide to step away from him. It really is a pickle. Sometimes parenthood grows on a person and they become doting parents when they really were adamant they didn’t want kids. The converse is people have kids and don’t want them and this puts a lot of stress and unhappiness on the entire family. There are always consequences to anything we do. In the long run, many things work out well but others we have regrets about. I believe there is no perfect option. Having known women who both terminated and who didn’t, I’ve learned that this is a complex issue. We women look back and feel some kind of way no matter what we might chose. I think the men feel some kind of way also. Some women/men feel relief, and some feel guilt and sorrow. I just want to encourage you to think about what you really want in your life and then have the courage to go after it. The alternative is to dishonor your self/soul perhaps by doing what doesn’t feel right for you in your own opinion. There is no right or wrong answer because all of us feel differently.

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