I said no to the recruiter and she was very rude to me, saying I had embarrassed her.

That recruiter is obviously terribly unprofessional and bad at her job if she did that. People who are looking for jobs apply to more than one job at a time – that is just reality.

Its hard to think of it at the time when someone is being horrible to you – it throws you for a loop but try and remember next time that anyone who is being rude to you in a professional capacity to ask to speak to their manager.

Also how good a friend is the person who told you the whole office were talking about you? Are you sure they are not the kind of person who just likes causing trouble?

My final thought is that the only ‘power’ these people have over you is that which you allow them to have. Firstly it will only effect your performance if YOU allow it and why would you care what an unprofessional recruiter and her team of people, who have nothing better to do apparently than plan revenge on every person who doesn’t take a job through them, MIGHT think about you. Secondly, and don’t take this the wrong way, I doubt you are that important to them – maybe you were worth an afternoon of bitching (its not like that takes any effort) – but long term investment in their time and thought apace – unlikely.

Just focus on what you can control and that’s your life (how you do your work in your new job) and feelings (telling that little voice that thinks people are thinking about you a lot that while you know you are amazing and awesome and so people should be thinking about you all the time that most people are going to be too busy wrapped up in their own issues and lives to care THAT much about what you are doing)

🙂