Where do I go from here?

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This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by Eliana.

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December 26, 2017 at 8:52 pm #183819

[Account Deleted]
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Where do I go if I don’t want to live? I’m only here for the couple of people I care about, if it were up to me I’d be long gone. I wouldn’t mind not existing at this point, I’m just tired and angry. This isn’t my world, I wouldn’t choose this place. What’s wrong with life? I’ve been trying for years, I’m still in this pit. I can’t concentrate, I can’t feel right, I just want out.

December 27, 2017 at 7:55 am #183827

LauRae
Participant

Hi, Matt.

I know a lot of things can get us down. I have felt like leaving this world, and have attempted suicide. I also have experienced the the loss of several friends to suicide.

I won’t ever do it. Occasionally, the wish crosses my mind. It passes. My life is far from ideal still. I won’t stop trying to love myself and others and to find purpose and joy.

I totally get where you’re coming from, Matt. I don’t believe we choose this place, either.

Is there something you like about life? A sunset, the ocean waves running up the shore, an animal you think is cute or funny on youtube?

You are human, Matt. Just because of that, you are inherently worthy and lovable. Maybe other people aren’t so loving, but we can love ourselves.

I happen to take antidepressants, which do help me cope with life. It’s still possible for me to hit a rough patch and not feel like being here. I do yoga, exercise, journal, sometimes do art.

You aren’t all alone. You are a part of everything, the stars and galaxies are made of atoms and energy just like you.

Maybe finding a good counselor or friend to talk with could help you. Possibly medication could help you feel better.

just suggestions from my own experience, take or leave as you like.

Please hang in there, Matt.

December 27, 2017 at 8:29 am #183857

Anonymous
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Dear Matt:

I think you don’t want to feel as you have felt for so long. You want out of the bad feelings, that emotional suffering. And it is possible for you, to eel that long desired calm, to feel again those moments of joy. It will take effort and time, persistence, patience but you can get there, bit by bit. You will see.

I know it is possible because it happened in my life- it is my personal experience that made it clear to me that it is indeed possible, to move from that depression, that unrelenting depression and anxiety, slowly.. slowly, into more and more moments of calm, and then getting used to moments of joy. Yes, it took me getting used to it, still am getting used to it, not being alarmed by joy and excitement.

* I very much like the reply you received prior to mine. What a sensible, empathetic, delightful reply!

anita

December 27, 2017 at 8:37 am #183859

Anonymous
Guest

* double posting…

December 27, 2017 at 9:03 am #183875

Eliana
Participant

Hi Matt,

You say you are Angry..could you share a little more about why and how this started? Are you angry with friends? Parents? Life in General? How long have you felt this way? You say you have people you care about, and I am sure they care about you too, and they would not want to see you like this. Are these people you can confide in? I am not sure how old you are, are you in school? What do you think is bringing about these feelings? Have you tried to contact a crisis line? They are trained volunteers that are there and want to help you. The call is anonymous. Please contact them. I am worried about you! Please post again..

December 27, 2017 at 9:07 am #183881

Eliana
Participant

Didn’t submit correctly

December 27, 2017 at 5:49 pm #183987

WorrierLady
Participant

Hi Matt,

What are you angry about? Whatever you are feeling right now will pass like how days just come and go. Do not stress yourself with the past and the future. Instead, enjoy the moment and surrender to God (or to the universe).

Whenever I am in a bad place, I still choose to find the good things in my every day. For example if I was betrayed by my bestfriend, I think of how I still have a family to wake up to, I have a healthy body or a dog who loves me dear. This equips your mind that you are in a good place. Practice that. Appreciating what you have today is REALITY and the TRUTH. Whenever you think you are useless, you yourself is the root of your SUFFERING. If you know you are useless to your family, then so be it. It is not the end. Your life is being redirected to something even more. Trust that. Every story is different for everyone. Good family ties is not a basis of a good life. It’s your mind.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.” – Fulton Oursler

December 31, 2017 at 10:27 am #184499

Eliana
Participant

Hi Matt,

I just wanted to check in to see if you are feeling better, and how you are doing? I do hope you will post again. I hope you have a Happy New Year, and to let you know, that we care.
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