Dear Adrianne:

I’m sorry to hear (read) about the difficult situation you’re facing with your family. It sounds incredibly challenging and unfair to be caught in the middle of conflicts that aren’t your fault. I can imagine how isolating it feels to be blamed for things that are beyond your control. Your desire to be seen as an individual and not just an extension of your mother is completely valid.

It’s unfortunate that your dad’s family harbors resentment towards you over the inheritance. It’s important to remember that you had no control over this situation. You were very young when your father died and had no control over the inheritance. Their anger is misplaced.

Losing connections with family members because of arguments you weren’t involved in is deeply painful. It’s clear that you’re caught in a difficult position of wanting to maintain relationships without betraying your mother.

While it’s not your responsibility to reach out, taking the first step may help clarify misunderstandings. If you feel comfortable, maybe consider reaching out to those you were close to and explaining how you feel…?

It’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends or seek professional guidance to navigate these complex family dynamics.

Family conflicts are unfortunately common, but you deserve to be treated as the unique and valuable person you are as an individual (not an extension of any other person, mother or anyone else). I hope you find a path that brings you peace and reconnection with those who matter to you.

anita