Hi, I had kept quiet for so long. This friend at first was great to me but then all of a sudden she discarded me, was basically being abusive towards me, just calling when she need something from me except my friends told me how well she spoke of me. Which did not make sense. I became so stressed that I sought some counselling. I had already been very ill physically and it was when I was starting to recover that everything just blew up emotionally speaking. I am feeling better now and but the more I kept quiet and just igonred this person the more she tried to provoke and isolate me. She would have everyone thing that she was a wonderful person helping out animals and things like that. But that soon stopped when I realized she was doing it for attention and to isolate me. She would hug my in front of everyone and talk nicely to me. I gave her a a chance more than once thinking she was genuine. But then it got to much for me after she would provoke and give me cold stares when no one knew. I was not sleeping and having anxiety so I sought help because I have a heart condition and I do not want to make it worse.

I finally spoke with a mutual friend and told her the best way I could to not include me in group dates etc…I never criticised her I just told her that I needed to protect myself. At first she defended her and told me she spoke well of me, she even thought it was a spat between us even though I never caused anything. I just enclosed myself and did not contact anyone. I even pretend for the sake of this friend as she had been through trauma and I did not want to upset her anymore than she had been.

The thing is I feel guilty even though I knew I had to speak up because this friend was always wanting to go out altogether, in the end it was stressing me. She sympathised even though she stayed friends with this person which is not my choice but at the same time I have this feeling that I was made to feel the one with the problem. When this first happened I approached the toxic friend and tried to talk but she just acted like everything was ok. She called me over to her place and I thought it was to talk but it was to brag about something she had done. She was laughing and happy.  I would have been prepared to listen and support her if she was having any problem.

I let go of this friendship for my good and I feel better and I went so long with holding my own and healing myself the best way that I could but it got to the point that I had to speak up. I did after all try to talk to the toxic person but I could see there was no way.  I think the wrong thing that I did was leaving when things had died down and not when she was abusive towards me.  I am just not sure. I feel ok but all the time she is in my life I am forever doubting myself. I do not consider myself a bad friend but sometimes I wonder if I am not too harsh.