Dear Phenixx:

Of course you could attend other AA meetings where he is not present?

But even if not, you having feelings for this guy can be an opportunity for you to practice having strong feelings and tolerating them without drinking and using other drugs. An opportunity to feel your heart pounding and endure that excitement, the high of seeing him and the low of leaving a meeting without talking with him. Experiencing and enduring the hope and disappointment.

You asked why you still like this guy? Because you are still lonely, isn’t it the reason? You had a connection with him and you don’t have such a connection with him or with anyone else, not like that, so you still feel strongly about him.

You clicked with him through endless conversations: this is a connection made. We have a need to be known, for another to know us. And you felt he knows you and liked you. It is a great feeling.

AA is a great program for many, and it is also the place where sometimes romantic or physical relationships develop, sometimes quickly and that can distract people from what they are in AA for. Maybe he suggested that you should be friends because he doesn’t want to be distracted from the program. Maybe he was depressed when he saw you and does not feel … sociable.

I hope that you continue to attend AA and share, share and share some more. Make yourself known. Be honest and open. This is what the program is about, and it is about Principles, not Personalities. And it works if you work it (I love AA sayings!)

Please do post anytime.

anita