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Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)
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  • #116412
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liquidsnake:

    I still need to understand, therefore I ask the following: what is the danger to HER then if her feelings get hurt as a result of your decision?

    anita

    #116421
    Liquidsnake
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    There is absolutely no danger to her physically, only financially and emotionally (lack of funds for business, which she needs to manage on her own for my share – I have demanded it yet and will not be in future, she can give whenever she wants or gets it), emotional distress, since I will not be there to be part of it to either help her or to stand with her on this…

    apart from this there is absolutely nothing to be alarmed of…

    #116426
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liquidsnake:

    In your original post on this thread you wrote regarding this woman with whom you had some kind of an intimate relationship for over a year and with whom you now you have a business relationship:

    “Why do we go back to emotionally abusive, unreliable, and selfish people, even after knowing and experiencing, that, they will take you for a ride for sure…Is it because of lack of self worth…so that we feel emotionally safe and comfortable and dont want to lose their presence in our life…

    I’m not able to get out of an emotional tangle and vicious circle and keep going into it again and again…. Can some one please guide me or help me to understand my behaviour?”

    I am thinking that the danger that you fear by hurting her feelings is that- as strange as it may read to you- you still experience some emotional safety around her and you “don’t want to lose” her presence in your life?

    anita

    #116433
    Liquidsnake
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    I don’t feel emotionally safe with her anymore, since she has done things in the last one year, which has made me to a point, I don’t feel secure anymore with her.. I feel very disturbed and insecure with her…

    All, I wanted to do is not to hurt her again and leave her stressed out, from more than what is necessary, since she is already into too much stress from all sides(family, friends, even her own father)…

    I also strongly feel I have 50% responsibility in hers and my situation as it is today..so, I don’t know if i have to walk on egg shells, not to disturb her mental peace or to tell everything openly without caring for her emotions and just walk out, once for all.. ending this business relation also…

    #116436
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liquidsnake:

    So it is a sense of guilt that is troubling you, feeling responsible for her well being, 50%?

    Well, what about her 50%? Does she feel that she is 50% responsible for your distress?

    The 50%-50% responsibility can be so only if both parties take on the 50% responsibility. If she doesn’t – then what in affect you are doing, is taking 100%.

    In other words, you are free to take 0% responsibility for her well being to match her 0%.

    And so, you want to walk out- just walk out. You are not responsible to give her any explanation.

    What do you think about my math?

    anita

    #116445
    Liquidsnake
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    Can I send the message which she has sent to me? Will it help in anyway to get more clarity on how is feeling about this and based on it you can give me your insights?

    #116456
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yes, Liquidsnake, sure- send it.
    anita

    #116505
    Liquidsnake
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    I have given the messages she sent to me as it is. These were typed in bold capital letters:

    I APOLOGISE FOR EVERYTHING.. U R MY ONLY LOVE..THIS DOESNT SUIT U AT ALL..I AM REPEATEDLY TELLING U… I KNOW WHO U ARE.. AND WHAT I AM TO U..IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE U.. I NEED U..

    I WONT DISTURB U EITHER…

    U NEEDNT UNBLOCK WHATSAPP..

    I AM SINCERELY SORRY TO HAVE HURT YOU SO MUCH.. I DONT MIND FALLING ON UR FEET. IT IS MY SHORT TEMPER THAT MAKES ME REACT EQUALLY AND NOT THE EGO.. I APOLOGISE.. NOT TO GET U BACK.. BUT FOR HAVING HURT U KNOWINGLY AND UNKNOWINGLY…

    U R MINE ONLY… THAT THOUGHT IS ENOUGH FOR ME.. THESE R NOT SUGAR QUOTED WORDS.. IT IS A FACT.. I CANT LEAVE U WAT SO EVER… I WILL BE A NEVER ENDING PEST ONLY.. TO U.. EATING U FROM INSIDE….

    These are the messages I got from her 2 days before.. I didnt respond to them, and I dont have any messages from her till now…

    #116508
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liquidsnake:

    I read through your first thread and this one. This is what I understand about the relationship with this woman: she is a relative, currently involved in a business with you. You used to have an emotionally intimate relationship with her, used to be “soulmates” as you put it. There was no sexual relationship with her.

    She insisted that you have no friends and spend all your social time with her and you expected the same from her. But she, unlike you, became close to business associates and other friends and even had three dates or visits with another man (but she was not sexual with any one of those friends).

    You were very hurt by the fact that she spent time with her friends, that she shared information with them that you believed belonged only to you and her.

    You mentioned that she abused you, that she had emotional outbursts.

    In her message above, she acknowledges that she has a “short temper” and that she hurt you knowingly.

    The last part of her message: ” I WILL BE A NEVER ENDING PEST ONLY.. TO U.. EATING U FROM INSIDE….”-

    What does it mean? Is this what it looks like- she threatening to be “a never ending pest, eating you from the inside”?

    I don’t understand: you said a few posts ago that you are not afraid of her at all, that she poses no danger to you. But isn’t a … pest eating you from the inside for the rest of your life- isn’t that dangerous? Please explain to me what you believe she meant by being that “never ending pest eating you from the inside”?

    And one more thing: her anger outbursts- describe the worst one- what were the things she said to you during that outburst and what did she do during the outburst, what were her actions?

    anita

    #119587
    Liquidsnake
    Participant

    Coming back here after a long break….Please explain to me what you believe she meant by being that “never ending pest eating you from the inside”? She thinks, the thought in me, that…she has done things, whatever she has done, is eating me from inside and these thoughts of her will be never ending for me, since we both will not be able to leave each other whatsoever….

    During her emotional outbursts, most of the time she blurts out everything she thinks and will be emotionally unavailable and will be spending her time alone(atleast that’s what she advocates), but, I knew she spends time with her friends and does things which makes her happy and she is not a person to miss any opportunity, which makes her to live in the moment and make herself happy…

    I’m also in very deep emotional trouble now, since i’m in a cross roads in my career and professional life which will be decided in january…

    I feel so bad and wrecked and want to run away to a place where no one knows me and just spend some time untill everything gets settled, which i can’t… I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THESE COMMOTIONS AND CONFUSIONS…. I HATE THIS LIFE!!!!

    SORRY FOR BEING OVER EMOTIONAL…SIGNING OFF FOR NOW!!

    #119627
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liquidsnake:

    I am sorry you are so distressed.

    I am confused as well, about your situation. On one hand, this woman seems to be so much trouble for you; on the other hand you seem to want her attention (but not so in your last paragraph). I don’t know. Like I just wrote, I am confused.

    I don’t know what will be decided January. I sure hope you get to relax and calm yourself. Stay away from anything and anyone that you CAN stay away from so that you can be calmer.

    anita

Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)

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