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Why does this always happen to me?

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  • #386751
    Vikas
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I am new here, a friend of mine recommended me about this forum. A bit about me, I am 28, gay, never been in a relationship in my life.

    I recently met a guy through a very odd way. I was looking for some fun and found him on an escort website (please do not judge me). I had seen this guy on various dating apps before but never talked to him. We planned a day and time and he came to my place. It was just supposed to be a massage, but we both had jibed along well so much that it eventually turned out to be sexual. We talked for a long time about life and everything. After that we stayed in touch and planned a proper date. The date went well, he introduced me to his roommates, we laughed, held hands and walked around and then I just left him home.

    It was a beautiful night, I felt like a teenager when I was with him. However, the following week things changed a bit. He had been going through a mid life crisis because of his job and financial problems. We were supposed to meet the following weekend but he said that he is not really in the mood to meet anyone and wants to settle first. I was sad, but I told him that I support him. I message him over the weekend and we chat a bit. I ask him if he would like to go on a drive. He suddenly stops replying me and leaves me on read. It has been 2 days since that and I have heard nothing. He keeps checking my stories on Instagram but nothing.

     

    I am confused, what did I do wrong? I was wondering everything was going well. How can I make it right again?

    #386759
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Vikas:

    “Why does this always happen to me”, “I am 28, gay, never been in a relationship in my life… I was looking for some fun and found him on an escort website (please do not judge me)“-

    – I won’t judge you for looking for some fun.  But if you want a relationship, I am guessing that an escort website is not the place where you are likely to end up in a relationship, is it?

    We planned a day and time and he came to my place. It was just supposed to be a massage, but we both had jibed along well so much that it eventually turned out to be sexual. We talked for a long time about life and everything. After that we stayed in touch and planned a proper date. The date went well, he introduced me to his roommates, we laughed, held hands and walked around and then I just left him home“- the connection so far reads like a Hookup + Making Nice: not all hookups have to be strictly-business/ sex. It’s nice to bring a bit of the human aspect into the sex: talking about life, introducing you to his roommates.

    It was a beautiful night, I felt like a teenager when I was with him“- I know that feeling, of being a teenager (when you are not)- it’s quite intoxicating!

    However.. I message him over the weekend and we chat a bit. I ask him if he would like to go on a drive. He suddenly stops replying me“- read like he was out of Making Nice, and being otherwise engaged.

    I am confused, what did I do wrong?”– hoping for a relationship from a guy you contact in an escort website, I think.

    “I was wondering everything was going well. How can I make it right again?“- when you felt like a teenager, it felt right, but it doesn’t mean that the very beginning (and very short) almost-relationship was right. And if it wasn’t right, it can’t be made right again.

    I am wondering, only if you’d want to share: how is it that you’ve never been in a relationship.. are you very young?

    anita

    #386790
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Vikas:

    I apologize, I asked you if you are very young and I noticed that in your original post you mentioned that you are 28.

    Back to your question at the closing of your original post: “what did I do wrong? I was wondering everything was going well. How can I make it right again?“- what happened with this guy is too short-term, it didn’t last long, therefore, there is not much right.. or wrong that happened. It was only a hook up and a talk and a date, not much happened.

    I hope you feel better soon, and that you learn from your experience.. and  to read more from you.

    anita

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