Why have so many bad things happened to my family?

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    This will be a bit disjointed I am just trying to piece everything together as to how so many bad things can happen to one family.

    Firstly, I was run over when I was a child. I thankfully fully recovered but was in a coma for two weeks and had a brain haemorrhage. In other years, my grandmother had breast cancer, my dad developed gastrointestinal cancer, my late grandfather had leukaemia, one cousin had a brain tumour. Recently, my other grandmother had to have her leg amputated. Nonetheless, we got on with things and pushed forward. Most recently, my cousin 23 year old cousin committed suicide with no warning signs and it has torn everyone to shreds.


    I understand that everyone has rubbish times in their life and everyone goes through loss but surely not all in such a short space of time. Is there such thing as having chronic terrible luck? I just don’t know what to do, this isn’t even really a question I’m just so lost and could do with some guidance.


    Dear luminary22:

    Some illnesses are genetic, so more of them happen within a family.

    Some illnesses are caused by lifestyle practices or are aggravated by such, so they may happen more in one family than in others.

    Mental troubles happen more within a particular family because abuse begets abuse: parents abuse their children, the children growing up in an abusive household abuse each other, others, and later on their own children.

    What happens within a family is a combination of genetics, choices made and random events.

    If by “chronic terrible luck” you mean there being a god or the like that unleashes its rage at a particular family, I don’t believe so. Because I don’t believe in a god or gods.

    The troubles that you encounter in your life, maybe you are lost, not knowing why. So you figure it may be bad luck. If you explore why, understand better how your personal troubles came about, then you will see reasons outside of bad luck. Would you like to look into any one particular matter?



    Hello luminary22,

    I am glad you decided to share your woes with the community here in TinyBuddha and I hope doing so has allowed you to feel better, even by a little bit.

    I admire your courage for sharing your story, and I would like to comfort you by telling you that although you are in no place to stop horrible circumstances from happening, you are in a place to control how you react or feel towards these moments.

    I understand that you have gone through a lot, and you are feeling very saddened by it all. I urge you not to give up and let these experiences shape you into a stronger person as well. Seeing that you feel lost and require guidance, I encourage you to talk to people, be it your family or even strangers – sometimes the advice these people can give can surprise you.

    I have once felt lost and confused, but I have gotten past the storm and I urge you to never give up, because everybody’s journey is different and so will be yours. You can do it.



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