Hi N20

I don’t have OCD. I have C-PTSD (still an anxiety disorder) due to multiple severe traumas throughout my life. At my worst, I was doped to the gills on medication to numb myself from everything I was feeling.

Coming off the medication was overwhelming because I had forgotten how to relax without it.

Yoga helped me to learn to relax. Therapy taught me how to process my emotions. It was a long process with everything that was backed up over the years. Meditation taught me to disconnect from thoughts and created larger gaps between them. Imagine how good it would feel to have a gap where you are not worrying about these things.

It is a journey and a process letting go of these things and changing how you see yourself.

With any condition there are ups and downs. Recently, I have had a down during pregnancy and after having a baby. I learned that hormones have a significant impact on how we feel.

I dealt with intrusive thoughts after birth. Therapy was helpful with that. I learned that there are triggers that cause intrusive thoughts to occur. Lack of sleep, noise sensitivity, pain and hunger, feeling overwhelmed are some of mine. Managing needs is helpful. I would also say resentment is a factor. Do you resent yourself and who you are now?

I also learned that the more important you perceive a thought to be, the more often it will occur. So the trick is to change your views about these intrusive thoughts. If you calmly accept it is happening and move on, don’t worry about it the mind no longer flags it as important. In time intrusive thoughts occur less and less. Potentially, even stopping.

I found that creating new thought habits was beneficial. Practicing gratitude was particularly helpful. Having good experiences and meeting good people is also helpful.

That is all I have time to write at the moment. I will write more to you later.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Dear n20:

“It started with… anxiety induced from school and college stress… Then in turned into full blown chronic anxiety and some depression… Then it spiraled even more into paralyzing fear of decision making… then… the intrusive thoughts sort of started“- anxiety going haywire is like a forest fire going out of control. It starts small and quickly escalates, spreading from tree to tree. Anxiety gone wild takes different forms at different times, as it spreads.

I most recently communicated through 9 pages with a person your age who suffers from intrusive thoughts. The thread is called Intrusive and Anxious Thoughts. it still appears on the first page of lists of topics (same page where your thread appears). For the purpose of not repeating myself, I am directing you there to read my many posts to the OP there. If you choose to do so, please get back to me here, on this thread, and let me know your thoughts.

anita